Wednesday, 16 December 2015

ok sepehr and zakaj win

i can see its just going to go on forever, it is an intrinsic problem with public boards, you can't expect people to show any consideration or restraint and they don't , just milk your valuable time for their own amusement

i will answer most private contacts, but when i don't reply to you sepehr its because we are "divorced" and if i never heard from you again, it would be great !

now i can start to recover my life abit ! :o)

the board is now on moderation, i think everyone can take that is not accepting any comments !

tl;dr got sick of my time being freebee'd for the entertainment of inconsiderate tards !


  1. Isn't it hypocritical though, considering you dismissed Gabriel Pradiipaka on the grounds that he censors his board, for the VERY SAME reason you're doing it now?

    1. yes, i have been thinking about this, one of the reasons i am sensitive on the topic is i am the most banned person on the internet, mostly any message board i get banned, even innocuous stuff, just my style of writing is enough to upset people !

      but is it censorship that is the problem or peoples natural aversion to the sort of mind stretching paradigm i am an embodiment of ?

      i do think censorship is an issue, the only post i have deleted so far was some nonsense link from sepehr which was typical i though of his "cut and paste" rather than any real contemplative work approach

      sepehr's link was

      so now i guess technically, no post has been censored

      it does concern me and if i had endless time things could continue as before, as it is, the moderation system seems to work well technically and really i do not know what to do at this point . .

    2. I certainly don't want to waste your time so I'll stop posting. I stopped before for 4 months or something if you remember, I can keep my word. This time I'll stop posting indefinitely

      I do come here because you're authentic. Yes

      However, authenticity is not enough; me, Sepehr, and others, don't come here to make silly goofs, maybe sometimes, but I think 99% is not that.

      We're "feeding off your energy" and the energies of others we perceive as authentic. I do understand however, that it's draining you and you have limited time.

      You're sensitive, it's odd that you're not able to just dismiss/ignore comments or brush them aside.

      While I believe your enlightenment is genuine, I don't think it can be passed to others. So if Jon / Jason read poetry and take pictures of forests etc. it's all good for nothing. It's superstitious.

      I'll tell you why I think it's superstitious. It's like Soto zazen sitting. It's basically "let's do everything the same and hope for the same result; Bodhidharma was sitting in this position so let's just sit like him and wait until something happens" - this is superstition. There's something very similar in the interesting TV Show that airs on HBO I think, called Leftovers.

      This becomes a ritual. The will to reproduce the same situation in which an event took place and then recreating the scene over and over. OK, if I just sit in this beautiful natural spot and read Sylvia Platt while I simultaneously listen to an audio recording of Toni Packer... that might do it. I'm caricaturing of course I'm aware nobody does that, but that's the essence of all religion in fact!

      It's more honest to say what the Shaiva tradition has been saying, that ultimately, all the practices are just something to "pass the time"... the student wants a practice, and the Guru gives something, knowing not any practice can make the Event happen - that would be superstitious.

      what Heidegger understood later in his life is that events of Being - what he called "Ereignis" - cannot be brought about by any effort. The reason is that a true event is world-disclosing and redefines what "being" means; so it cannot be triggered by any superstitious activity.

      We can pretend to be genuine by sitting by a river and reading books you recommend the truth is that will all be following YOUR authenticity, so it won't be authentic.

      there is nothing to prepare one for the Event so truth be told it's the same whether we come here or not, it's all passing the time until the Event comes, as a Gift, as purely given, not "deserved"(!!!) not "gained through effort" - it is purely what the traditions call Grace

      Grace is all there is and we're going to be beaten by infinity, crushed like bugs on the ground repeatedly until we surrender to it ... and even our surrender won't be "our act" ; it is Grace that makes us surrender

      We are made to become so by / through Grace

      ((( fun fact: "Shiva" as a term meaning "graceful, gracious, kind" is actually an euphemism for "Rudra" which means terrifying (also bhairava) ... it was the Indian way to kiss god's ass ... but really God is not some kind of Person you can befriend --- my favorite line in the Bible ,by far, is "It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" - it was written by the inventor of Christianity, Saint Paul (who invented the whole thing really) ... it has such power... the word "LIVING" there is what makes god so dreadful... just contemplating why he put the word "living" there, before "god", --- that is something worth doing )))

      OK, I'll become a passive reader and stop posting!

    3. but what you say is like sepehr, you have some sort of projection of what i am saying . .

      neither you nor sepehr accept that you really don't understand an in a way have never got to first base and then to cover this up develop or rather claim myself as having a certain proxy system which (lol) seems to consist of

      " if I just sit in this beautiful natural spot and read Sylvia Plath while I simultaneously listen to an audio recording of Toni Packer... that might do it "

      there are fundamental experiences which completely change one's views and sense of reality, that's not in my provenance to control or even as you say provide some assist towards, but the working through of those experiences (some of which i now think may not be even remembered or have much conciousness of at all) is a lifetime's slog . .

      so really my objection to you and sepehr is your not having sufficient depth of these experiences to feel that "changed view of reality" enough to take the business sufficiently seriously and stop proxying and start doing things for real !

      sepehr is particularly upsetting because imo he was always marginally schizophrenic and in my view he has become more schizophrenic recently and its sort of upsetting to see someone swept away like that, but of course we see it in life and in own own families as well . .

      this sorta brings us back to the original problem of me finding you and sepehr too PTSD'y to deal with, you really have different viewpoints about where you are and your degree of understanding and so i find myself fighting against that whenever you post . .

      in the end everyone makes this call, when i was staying at the mt. tremper zen monastery in the early nineties, i came to the conclusion that john loori, while he had some strong points as an environmentalist and photographer, when it came to zen he didn't know what he was on about, so i left and eventually ended up at springwater and it was such a relief to find someone who knew what she was on about, sunlight in a world that preferred dreary bullshit, indeed tried to snuff the light if it could . . so to s p e a k

      thank you for your offer to stop posting, what i am really saying is we do differ quite strongly in our views and really you should act according to the way you are voting and move with it which would be more real life involvement with the Shaiva tradition which may involve travel or whatever, i don't think its complete nonsense, rather it will be like zen, mostly nonsense and one gets impregnated or something and then has to spend 20 years working out that its mostly a subtle system of voynich/bullshit . .

      maybe sepehr needs a few years of travelling scuba diving or whatever ?

      just keep well inside the tables and avoid microbubbles !

  2. I was just asking what's your argument for greed, hatred, and delusion being bad?


    1. what's your argument for greed, hatred, and delusion being useful categories ?

  3. "if you don't think i know what i am on about just do not post !"

    Can you imagine Brad Warner or Gesshin or whomever posting such a thing? The hypocrisy really is comical.

    You have a huge blind spot around emotional maturity and relationships -- that's your work to do, but it won't happen if you push everybody away or take too much advice from misogynistic Reddit boards.

    1. honestly dave, both brad and gesshin have banned me . .

      gesshin is stuck in some faux buddhist dream and brad is being pulled backwards into nostalgia

      please do some thinking before you post !

      lol, r/theredpill and r/exnocontact have moved me
      years ahead . .