Thursday, 25 December 2014



  1. That's what happens when celibate, contemplative traditions are distilled for society as a whole. It becomes more of a word game and akin to homoerotic bonding when people regurgitate slogans to one another on forums.

    People start to fear the solitude and chirping of the birds even more, and they cling to the "saying of the greats" as a way to avoid the real work. The chirping of the birds come to resemble pangs of the heart, for such people, when they start to desire to "become a part of the crowd" rather than manifest/actualize their understanding alone. Zen groups and discussions are always "about" Zen... never "of" because the rave is far more comforting to them than the infinity of the solitude that deconstructs all thoughts.


    1. good last line !

      people seem unable to leave their hubric central narcissism whereby the world revolves around and for them and everything gets turned into some nightmare of . f a k e . a b o u t . to service this illusory view they have of their importance in the scheme of things

  2. Psychedelics give you a sudden explosion of visions, communication with disembodied intelligences, a new way of seeing the world that makes everything an aesthetic masterpiece... all the world seeming like an artwork, and all that transpires, like the Avatamsaka Sutra says: "mind is the painter that paints the world"... that was at least my exp. with LSD... but the exp. itself was not as good as a flashback I had a few months after, when sitting zazen. I doubt the zazen itself could produce all that, so I attribute it to the acid I took a few months before. I thought I had God by the balls, that I penetrated to the ground of being and I hold the masterkeys to unlock all the mysteries of existence... but then I tried to convey the experience to others, and it sounded pathetic. Whatever I'd try to put to words, to convey to others, to communicate, lost all color. It was like a colorful 3D object becoming a monochromatic 2D object, or a very high resolution photography becoming a pixelated low-res monstrosity. That exp. was quite painful, I realized how ordinarily we exist through language. What I call "me" is constituted through language. If that is broken at some point, the mystical/visionary/psychotic(?) dimension appears and it's quite frightening in its might. In a TV show I watched years ago and loved, a cyborg (AI) who developed intelligence to a point where he was able to perceive things unimaginable to humans, relayed his experience by saying: "To know the face of God is to know madness. I see the universe. I see the patterns. I see the foreshadowing that precedes every moment of every day. It's all there, I see it and you don't."

    1. I guess the problem with both of them is the impossibility of translating the vision to a form that doesn't appear as madness to the ordinary mind. The "bridge" between the two is almost impossible to make, and it is also a lot of pain to do that kind of work, be it through art or through thinking. It takes a lot of years to absorb and process, I imagine. To "sort out" as Andrew would say.

      And then the other thing psychedelics and Zen have in common is that both have a "hippy movement" of shallow people who are there just for the social dimension of it all.

    2. Even though the experiences with psychedelics were quite profound, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone! Who knows if there is some permanent damage or not? Perhaps there is? I cannot know.

      Nowadays I don't even drink as much as a sip of wine. Complete abstinence is what works for me, to keep life in balance. I would recommend this to everyone. Absolute abstinence.

      The only "positive" thing is through psychedelics one sees that normal reality is a (linguistic?) construct. But psychedelics also cause some damage, I am quite sure of this! Not sure if physiological or psychological.

    3. " Nowadays I don't even drink as much as a sip of wine. Complete abstinence is what works for me, to keep life in balance. I would recommend this to everyone. Absolute abstinence "

      I've been a teetotaler all my life and recently I have started drinking a glass of red wine a day by adding it to cooking !

      I do think about how much I am drinking in a day and am careful to cut back if necessary, but I don't think I am a natural alcoholic and more than a glass makes me feel unpleasant

      my view has moved away from complete abstinence to some notion of limited experience, which is a skill of course, in my view alcoholics simply haven't mastered the skill, though for some psychological/physiological make-ups moderation may not be possible !

      basically I am using red wine productively as a supplement and self medication . . if I move out of that into organ and brain damage then that transition probably occurs past a glass and a half a day imo

      while I might preach about "limited experience" yet I have stopped posting on reddit zen and there's no halfway house, zero posting full stop !

      I don't actually want to post any more, it has taught me quite abit and has been a lot less painful than the sort of real life mess that sort of contact would be . . but in the end conversing with morons has lost it's appeal ! :o)

      god they are dumb ! :o)

      the basic limitation is they won't go outside of zen which condemns them to be lost in the voynich that zen mostly is ! :o)

      I suppose it must have some similarities to an alcoholic not wanting to drink anymore, the prospect of more drinking seems repugnant, like me with reddit zen, it's not like I make a conscious decision not to post or follow some rule except that to post again is just to invite another onslaught of that repugnance ! ?

      it may be that it's a fractal explosion, that I just am to weary or bored by , a returning circle with not much to teach me anymore

      I feel the same about psychedelics actually, they are fraught with danger and ptsd's of various sorts and have nothing at all to teach me

      and actually recently I wonder a bit about myself and the huge burden of knowledge and learning I undertake . .

    4. Personally, I think much of the madness is a byproduct of a Gnostic, Manichaen or Zurvanist type of understanding: that the Carbon will has an egotistical component. What distinguishes Buddhism and Manichaeism from Daoism is how it encourages one not to have kids and burden them with the immense suffering that is this Carbon based earth and life. One cannot destroy it through hatred but only through compassion and unpremeditated creative, which is a sphere closer to the infinite.

      Watch the film Virgin Spring directed by Ingmar Bergman. Life truly is suffering, madness itself, but there is something absolutely still and infinite underlying it, a reservoir of infinite potential. We must love everything in this life, no matter how painful, and help our fellow men in need... for all of life was born from this megalomaniac, undulating Carbon will that loves to see itself everywhere.

      I think this Carbon will intends to take over other sectors of the galaxy, like a cat or crazy man that wants to take over other parts of land. Those crazy men and territorial cats are a part of nature, ruthless and competitive (like Lars von Trier's AntiChrist). To bring a child into this world and tell him there is no God to remedy one's suffering in the face of this indifferent brutality and precarious periods of peace is too painful...

      Solitude and celibacy will help end this Becoming, no longer being recycled in the endless ebb of life... because we deny the Carbon will and find primacy in the Dharmakaya or Zurvan.

    5. "Watch the film Virgin Spring directed by Ingmar Bergman. Life truly is suffering, madness itself, but there is something absolutely still and infinite underlying it, a reservoir of infinite potential "

      its a good/powerful film but there is another dimension !

    6. sepehr, isn't what you write a building of that church to mark the daughters murder ?

      it's like the film, the wrong space to get a meaningful resolution of what infinity is !

      there's no resolution of infinity except to be with it, maybe Friday's late afternoon walk in golden summer light along the stones of the beach at east devonport . . there is nothing else to say except to be with that ! :o)