Wednesday, 10 February 2016



  1. I think childlessness ultimately helps one have more time to read good works and write. It's kind of essential.

    My play is taking longer than expected. I've been reading, researching, and getting solitude a lot, and I have been constantly refining and editing the play. I will finish a draft for you to read by the end of March, and I want to send it for competition before April 23, 2016.

    Act II is based more on my dreams and personal experiences whereas Act I is more historical with contemporary relevance.

    My wife is illustrating a children story I wrote, but that one is more mere entertainment to secure stable income in the future.

    1. I'm starting to see where Andrew is getting the idea of you going circles

      idk if you want to share, but I'd like to read your play as well

    2. he could become famous and you and i will be 'has beens' or 'never beens' in fact on some lunatic fringe of association! . .

      he has written one play which was quite good, the medium must suit his style of attention, i think the "homily style" suits you and me more . .

      i can't get into the sustained intensity a screenplay, novel or play requires, maybe its just a skill i have never developed, i don't know . . ?

  2. In your opinion, what are the best Roman stoics?

    Epictetus, Seneca, or Aurelius? What are your opinion on those three guys? Thanks.

  3. What do you think of Tom Hennen's poetry?

    Read the poems available in the preview. They give me a "sparking" feel kind of like your poems.

    If I ever become famous, which I doubt, I'll be sure to mention how much of an influence you've been on me, so that way you could publish your work like Tom Hennen and make a decent sum of money.


    1. you know what strikes me about tom hennen ?

      there’s space and time . .

      not overbusy like todays media filled nightmare, an internal intrusion on any authentic self we might have !

      sales of tom hennen will be like brad warner, barely covering the cost of printing !

      writing is like raising children, all financial deficit and some illusion of continuity !

  4. hey Andrew and jason,

    The best way to download books is mIRC or another IRC client such as xchat. Sign into the undernet server and go the room #bookz.

    You can get so much stuff that way. I downloaded Bukowski, pillow book of sei shonagon, and SOO much more. I use the Firefox reader to read most of the ebooks and it is awesome. I prefer ebook format, but html is fine too. word format is not that good because some word processing software can mess with it, so stick to ebooks and html when downloading.

    basically you do @search xxx to see if they have what you want. The bots send a text document showing what they have, and then you decide which one you want and type it all out and download from other bots or people. 80-90 percent of what i wanted was on there

  5. dave was telling me about " the wall " when i was at his place in massachusetts

    it reminds me of a story i wrote while in middle school, we were asked to write and ending to " the giver " by lois lowry

    well my ending was that the main character escapes the utopia community he was trapped in, goes through some tundra plains only to be greeted by an invisble wall that he's not able to go through

    the teacher said he didn't understand, so i changed it to an invisible electric wall that would shock you if you touched it, and was impossible to get around

    still he didn't get it he said, years later this teacher went on to get a ph.d

  6. that karl ove knausgaard piece really did a number on me...

    i've been thinking about that for a few days now

  7. isn't that what it is though, being fed up with being a mediocre wasteball that's just taking up space

    being fed up and actually doing something about it?

    1. you are proxying into developing remedying conceptual systems

      there are no "right" answers or conceptualizations or even questions or views . .

      you are not addressing the validity of the solipsist viewpoint

      there is only small adaptive changes and the meta's that naturally arise from that

      what you are doing is trying to develop the meta's without enough real world experience from the small adaptive changes . .

      do the changes and get the experience and the meta's will slowly build and put you hopefully into a better space, that's what ove knausgaard is really about

  8. Why do you use schizophrenic as a pejorative?

    Many schizophrenics have incredible artwork:

    Watch this video in full. Some of the artwork is mind-blowing. The neurological explanations are also cool.

    1. my reply

    2. Good point.

      Brad's retinue is stupid regardless.

  9. What if someone else did a video interview with you like a jason or a sepehr?

    That's if you guys want to...

    Seems like a shitty idea when I think about it but it could also be good..!

  10. After I took LSD with my friend, I asked him: "why don't we draw something?" - we both took a piece of paper and started drawing... he was really into it... drawing intricate shapes and such. I was just staring at my white piece of paper. After 30 or so minutes, he showed me his paper and I said: it's beautiful. He proceeded to ask me why I hadn't drawn anything. I replied - pointing at everything around us - "Isn't all of this - a painting, my painting?" - He was disappointed ... and with good reason, I must say.

    1. zakaj, you are here to tell me something

      there's a really basic problem, you are just here to fill time, please go away !

      at one stage you had something to teach me, now you have nothing

      go and learn sanskrit with gabriel pradīpaka

    2. i really don't have the time to entertain you so regretfully you have become the first person to be fully banned, no more posts of yours will passed in future !

      but not all is lost : o )

    3. As I said, I won't post here anymore. And I am learning Sanskrit, but that's not the main thing - the main thing is to learn about Trika / Kashmir Shaivism under my Guru.

      The comment above was written in a drunk state! I don't even remember writing it well... I forbid myself alcohol but one day my wife enticed me, tempted me and I fell for the bait. When I'm drunk home unfortunately I do this, I write stuff to people! Well no big deal I suppose, your advice is sound.

    4. I served as conscience to you, reminding you that you are not fully enlightened and that there is a true enlightened person out there!

      But now by banning me you will create a hermetic circle, a "bubble" in which all people will just nod to whatever you write.

      Zephyr changed recently, he is much more tame. Why? Well, a good horse runs even at the shadow of the whip!

      By banning me, my job here will be complete. The memory of my ban will serve to remind you of what you had to suppress in order to enjoy the echo of agreement from your disciples!

      Basically you left Brad Warner's cult and then created another one. Was it just envy after all?

      You had truly profound insight but unfortunately you haven't met an enlightened person yet so you have no way of clarifying those experiences and reasoning about your self properly. Poetry cannot do that for you, you have to meet someone who achieved final liberation.

      Good luck!

    5. " Poetry cannot do that for you, you have to meet someone who achieved final liberation. "

      when you get "final liberation" let us know and not before !

      i wonder what your wife's version of your getting drunk was since from experience i know you don't take responsibility for anything else !

      "the main thing is to learn about Trika / Kashmir Shaivism under my Guru"

      honestly in ten years you will still be at that stage, projecting into something that you haven't done !

    6. I'm not tame, I've been busy writing and reading. My play will be done before April 20th, when I will send it for consideration in a play competition. Afterwards, I have another two more plays planned.

      I am taking my time editing, reading, and so forth. I can't rush it, but there is a deadline now (April 23rd, if I remember correctly). It's a 120 pages now, and I have spent 150-200 hrs on it and have done tremendous research and reading, as I am still doing. I have people to help edit it before the due date.

      I don't agree with everything Andrew says, but I agree with him on the essential points. I've mentioned those essential points elsewhere.

      Honestly, I think you would benefit greatly from reading Robert Aickman, Zakaj. It would shatter your sense of security, your sense of foundation. Read "The Hospice" by Aickman. Then consider that all organized religions are like the hospice in Aickman's story.

    7. Robert Aickman's "The Hospice" is very similar to Melancholia in its theme. It's not really a horror story. I recommend reading it in full before judging it. I found its destabilizing effect to be much stronger than Melancholia even.

    8. isnʼt it a rip off of thomas mann’s ‘the house berghof’ in “the magic mountain” ?

      i have a true horror story about the berlins pub between inangahua and westport, middle of nowhere, looked ok

      ( that link is new buildings, its 21 years since i stayed there ! )

      the barman was drunk, and a man and his date stayed all night at the bar with the music so loud that one couldn't even sleep with ear plugs !

      “destabilizing” doesn't even begin to describe it ! :o)

  11. When I think of Brad's crew, I liken them as Wes Anderson movies. They have a strong community but are afraid of solitude and being alone; they do not value their individuality apart from the community and cannot think apart from it. When something threatens to destabilize their preconception, they resort to a kind of "Big Other", wherein they share (amongst each other) key jokes, degenerate music, and etc. as a way to solidify their network or community. They are totally enamoured by the drama of the game show, afraid of being alone and exploring the phantasmagorical inner world.

    Now compare Wes Anderson's movies to Lars von Trier. Lars von Trier shows insufficiency in being one with the crowd, in making one's views aligned with the crowd. He shows depth in the individual character, in being alone by the river, lying and staring at the moon, dreaming worlds of one's own. This solipsism scares those dumbasses on Brad's blog. This deconstruction scares them, so they babble endlessly about thinking they know it, rather than letting the solitude of the crepuscular moon wash over their delusions.

    This place is like Lars von Trier's films whereas Brad's shit blog is Wes Anderson. In here I feel constantly deconstructed, as if in a dream, my own thoughts flowing into me, creating new worlds from the dust of the old. I fly like an opulent angel to worlds of indescribable colors, alone, here, for the crowd is but a fancy of delirium.