Thursday, 6 August 2015

reply to brad warner


  1. I am reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

    Do you like this book?

    I like it, so far

    1. a good article on robert pirsig !

      he was autistic and not insane, yet he accepts societies valuation of him as i n s a n e . . !

      he's a good example of some-one who should have been celibate and not married and had children . . too much of a burden for him to survive . .

      he's sorta half there and half not, celibate and he would have been a ll t h e r e

      as it is its a sorta fraud . .

      he made quite abit of money out of the book and became a cult hero , g o o d l u c k t o h i m !

      i really find it pays to research author's lives , what they write doesn't make sense (100% ? ) without it ! : o ) . . . (

    2. Thanks for the reply.

      UG Krishnamurti married and had kids but he left them and his wife to go all the way... and all the way he went.. I think.

      I don't know, I don't know how I could say anything about this.

    3. I don't know why I'm always coming back here waiting for a response.

      You keep saying something about being sucked dry or some shit, being used and abused, I don't know the exact phrase or words but it's not pretty.

      Do you actually feel something physical or does it actually cause you so much harm when I or other people throw these questions at you?

    4. both krishnamurtis' had their limitations . .

      i think you have to be childless and lived most of your life celibate to get it 100% right

      otherwise you are never going to do what is necessary . . it is a constant extreme crucifixion . .

      that is what is unique about the desert fathers, the best of catholic mysticism and zen/ch'an

    5. jon, i don't think you have to look any further than yourself to answer those questions, how do you feel ?

    6. I feel shitty sometimes

      Lost, helpless

      Sometimes extremely angry

      Sometimes I want to snap on everyone but what's the point.. It's not their fault, it's just me and there are no answers.

    7. i think/feel life is much more like backgammon rather than chess ! : o )

  2. I think a lot of little things, besides nutrition which is immensely important, can dull down people. The same is true for brighten. It's hard to pick out all those things.

    One of them, I know as an absolute that I never truly learned until now, is how thick, colored eye glasses make people stupid. It cuts off at least 30-40 percent of your peripheral vision. I'm not kidding. I don't think anyone can wear this without training their mind and eyes to be more focused on narrowness or whatever. Wirey and light frames are obviously better in that it doesn't do ANYTHING to your peripheral vision.

    i think going blind is better than wearing glasses that destroy your peripheral vision. There's something about vision without the peripheral vision that dulls your mind, that makes it suck some parochial like limbo...

    There are a little of things like this in life, some bigger of course.

    1. good reply thanx sepehr !

      there are life and intellectual equivalents to restricted peripheral vision ! :o)

    2. Yeah \i was gonna ask you about your eye sight.. I thought you wore glasses, did nutrition clear that situation up completely or did you get surgery or something

      Maybe your eye sight wasn't that bad...


    3. i still wear glasses, but my prescription dropped back a power to what i was 30 years ago !

      i think it's the chromium i take !

      i am stigmatic, tho my eye sight was never bad enough for surgery !

    4. I wear glasses myself, should be getting another prescription soon. I'll get plastic lenses and thinner frames

      I haven't had good relationship recently with people who wear color changing lenses, the ones that turn into sunglasses in sunlight.

  3. What's your opinion on Kenji Miyazawa, Andrew?

    1. reply at

  4. Also, do you think the Buddhabrot looking like a Buddha meditating is mere coincidence?

    1. reply

    2. I'm still writing my new play.

  5. "When I look around and look at works of art that I like, they all contain melancholia to some point. I would describe it as being the soul to put in the food. You know, if you've got to put in melancholia, then you have to have some melancholia at the table to put it into to make it become a real dish." - Lars von Trier


    1. that is a reasonable and intelligent perspective of a non celibate middle aged man who has thought and experienced these matters

      however from the perspective of celibacy and lifelong intensity of investigation, it's to be the other side of suicide and to play with the perspectives and views that state gives you !

      it's the difference between a warm day and the red hot lava thrown up by a flaming volcano !


  6. I think this link should work:!/jason.dafonte.9/albums/1890668911158763/

    1. thanx ! i still can't get over how one can be brought to seeing what you are seeing without having to travel !

      and so immediate !

      i get the impression of quiet and not very busy there, both huge pluses !

      its a big property and no doubt has huge ongoing maintenance needs and costs !


    3. Photo titled bourbon room is where Dae Gak, his wife, and others went to gossip and drink bourbon almost immediately after retreatants left!

    4. Yeah the current work exchange guy (jigetsu's son) does a lot of moving old dead wood, snow plowing, and grass clearing.

    5. George Bomun was a marvel. He sat immediately across from me during meditation, I got to see him live.. His face was constantly moving during meditation, constantly inquiring. He also rocked back and forth throughout, that made me feel comfortable to move myself. We both had saliva problems, and so when one of us had to swallow spit, the other would almost immediately do the same after.

      One night after a particularly good meditation for me.. Watching George Bomun walk back his room was very interesting. He seemed unhindered, and yet completely destroyed. It was incredible.

      He had a girlfriend who was actually there. I didn't get to meet her, but I think she helped me move my mats before meditation once which was very kind.

      George's car was interesting. He had a Monster energy drink and coffee up front, which I assume is for his road trips to retreats. He also had a 'As Seen On TV' product in the backseat, titled 'Mega Memory'.

      I was glad to tell him I found a snake skin behind the Buddha altar in the temple, he was very excited to see it and asked what it looked like! He was very kind and wished me a safe trip home. I did feel he 'left out' certain dialogue when talking.. Leaving the hard hitting stuff that most people can't handle.

    6. Dae Gak would be speaking during his dharma talk, ".. We must keep silence and still." George Bomun immediately during the talk 'COUGH picks his nose'.

      They did seem like good friends though. He laughed often during the talks as well. I wondered how George kept his cool as too not be too abrasive towards others living on Furnace Mountain

    7. thanx for all that writing and the movies, you really have had a good introduction to what zen is really like !

      no glamour that's for sure ! : o )

      most people are just passing the time and like reddit zen get nasty and belligerent when disturbed !

      some of the other teachers in the kwan um school have given george a hard time so i think he has learnt to be guarded !

    8. He actually rocked from side to side. People rocking back and forth were falling asleep i think.

      I think I'm gonna go to one of his retreats in Boston, he seemed to take a liking to me or I don't know. I'd be scared to look up sometimes during meditation because he'd be staring right at me.

      So maybe a retreat with George and maybe Dave st germain!

      Check out this website:
      They put you though a grueling 90/hr week 'Bootcamp' to learn web development. It costs nothing at first besides a deposits, where they charge is 15% of your first years salary. So basically they have to help you find a job or else they don't get paid. They claim something like 90% of their graduated get a job within three months? Their acceptance rate is 5%, I don't know if I could even get in, they might think I'm too young, and I am a little unmotivated, but sorta motivated at the same time. I thought about it a good amount my last night in the hermitage.

    9. "He actually rocked from side to side"

      an autistic trait !

      that appacademy looks a scam imo, if you can't teach yourself programming off the web by yourself then you are not interested in it enough !

      what interests you and what are you good at without trying ?

    10. Yeah I'm mostly just passing the time and when there's nothing left to pass the time with, I get...

      Kids are good at questioning.

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  9. Andrew, if life is just process with no bottom turtle, how can it be a reflection of something deeper? "I" is nothing but oscillation and stability, and the poem the gateway to infinity... but isn't that infinity monstrous?

    Where is this mysterious irradiance that permeates everything? If this life is really all that I get and rebirth is superstition, then why should love be extended in all directions infinitely? Why does it matter if I take the pain personally or not? Just for a transient glimpse of infinity and that's it, and then welcoming the blackness of death?

    You said:

    "when we die the world also dies which is why being faced with death is such a topsy turvey disturbing process, yet paradoxically so opening !" - Andrew

    What should be the incentive in gaining wisdom in solitude within natural scenery if the wisdom gained will bring nothing but pain in this evanescent life... A pain that shows that nothing but inertness awaits with the cessation of my bodily functions?

    Both the real and unreal, which blend in indistinguishable twilight, are gone when I go, so what's the point in valuing them or what I do in this life when it's just a fleeting dream?

    I want more incentive to practice or whatever... but it seems delusion is preferable to wisdom... Why soak in the infinite if it will all end in the abeyance that is void when this life fades away...

    If life really is senseless and i'm parsing meaning out of meaninglessness, like a babble that has no intrinsic meaning, then what's the point of taking any of this seriously if it'll end in naught? it's just a recursive joke...

    "Heedless shall we swallow
    Our riddles never spoke
    With the merit of no answer
    To meliorate the joke"
    - In Gowan Ring

    1. lol, a good "series" of posts thanx ! :o)

      the middle one (:52) was the one i liked best, but i really like that phrase at the end of the last one, you really have made good progress with these posts . .

      it's interesting, you get off track, then you get on track when you are motivated, so the first thing is it can't be easy to be you, i really mean that, you have my sympathy, more burdened with with this extreme flip flopping than anyone else !

      you are naturally tasked with a difficult life and neurology, same with me, if i could live blind and had a reasonable competence in life like the rest of the breeding r a t s , i would

      but the way i am always throws me tossed in the waves like osip mandelstam's "seashell" poem . .

      so as to the "why" of "parsing meaning out of meaninglessness, like a babble that has no intrinsic meaning, then what's the point of taking any of this seriously if it'll end in naught? it's just a recursive joke..." is that really for some, like the posters on this blog, there is no choice !

      i just do this because it's the road i'm on and i can hear the lions roar in the distance behind me, no doubt they will catch up one day !

      your problem is you don't really see what is infinity and understand it as infinity and therefore the hub of all we think of life . .

      that sense of what it is takes alot of time to clarify and develop and a certain mode of life that is shall we say/call it "hermetic" ?

      it's that sense of what it is which is fact an absorption into that which drives everything, in that context human love is limited . .

      that is why meiji zen and the disgusting abeyances of what zen is really about like web zen are so wrong, rocked in the arms of and giving human love is like rolling in filthy excrement, but o f c o u r s e t h i s w i l l n o t b e u n d e r s t o o d . .

      (so?) an aspect of infinity of life is this endless "density" in all directions and you are on the right track, beginning to probe this and this is all one can do in life, i can't even say "in an intelligent fashion" because it all seems so beyond intelligence and our ability to p r e d i c t . .

  10. Andrew, I've been reading your health compendium. I agree with everything you say, but I need to read more deeply. I like your thoughts on vaccination. There does need to be more caution...

    BTW, what do you think of this?

    1. sepehr, the problem with that formulation is the mineral forms are inorganic, ie not bound to proteins and also because it it is a broad spectrum salt there are also toxic minerals included !

      the compendium recommendations are specific because there are very few suitable formulations out there !

      chromium i am finding a particularly useful mineral !

    2. Yeah, I figured... besides chromium what else do you recommend? Selenium and lithium also right? Been browsing your stuff a lot and while some of it goes over me, most of it i get.

      Also what's a good way to flush out candida and what are some good basic guidelines to follow to make sure biofilm in gut is healthy?

      I have to turn my life around and take the GRE to go to grad school... or maybe do something else for good secure income

    3. i do take fish oil and vitamin D btw

    4. in the usa because of your high soil selenium levels i don't know how much you need selenium

      you can't flush out candida, you really have to read up on the BCD diet

      one thing that does help is a bit of lard or extra virgin olive oil (evoo) with food as an anti-microbiomic

      its just a very long time intensive process to work it out . .

      fish oil and vitamin D are immune suppressing, you need to balance that up with some stimulants like germanium

      nothing beats quality krill oil for the brain

      why don't you do philosophy ? that is one way of being sure you will always be on the bread line ? becoming a zen teacher is another ?

    5. sepehr, yes microdose lithium really helps with mood swings

    6. Btw, this was a very good film, an3drew. Check it out:

      The film is about the quasi border between the real and unreal. It does a good job showing how a poet has to move freely between them to find infinity or so...

    7. How about a lithium carbonate video Andrew?

      I just spent a weekend in vermont with high school friends, what a waste of time.

    8. What did you all do, Jason?

    9. sepehr, reply

    10. Sounded like a good time! Why don't you just say no? No to the trip or no to the pot or just plain to everything!

      I like to say no to people sometimes, my friends or family. They get all offended but a nigga needs his space sometimes . . .

    11. Yeah next time I just want won't go. It wasn't really a good time, kentucky was a way better time.