this blog is the continuation of a genuine mystical tradition, unless you get in daily contemplative time and abstain to a significant degree from "entertainment" then you are just wasting your time and mine !
You asked me to stop posting here, yet why do you still bicker behind my back without giving me the opportunity to respond back anymore? You censor me, being a hypocrite. I am totally disillusioned with you now. I regret ever thinking you were enlightened.
You need to stop judging writers you haven't even read. Ligotti is pretty much the 21st century version of Poe, but he is of course different. You don't even understand Derrida's iterability and grafting. While I agree with your emphasis on true creativity being based on one's experience, you have to also realize true creativity 100% isn't possible because we are borrowing words that tie into a genealogy that has relations to myths or whatever. If someone makes an allusion to some myth (e.g., Greek mythology) in his poetry, does that make him a fraud? Does that make him unoriginal?
I'm sick and tired of your authoritative behaviour. You give no respite even after they cease posting.
You're going to be a has-been soon enough because you're an asshole.
I'm really fed up with all this abuse that comes from nowhere. Both you and Jason are way too damaged.
We're not going to like all of the same artists. So what? You'd probably hate David Lynch too, but there is no way in hell I'd ever be able not to see his amazing artistic talent.
I just don't think this world is that great. You even said when you wake up now, life is a continuance of a nightmare, and I don't want to be part of either Brad's circle-jerking or your masquerade. Own up to your mask and self-aggrandizement. It's silly. Peel back your mask and realize how stupid you are being. You're insulting a congenial person who has listened to you for over 2 yrs, who you have constantly complimented on numerous occasions, you autistic broke robot. You're constantly obsessing over Brad, Zakaj, and me (who btw has constantly complimented but is now fed up). Stop talking about me.
Let's be honest, you don't generally care if I become a good artist or get solitude time! It's just a game for you to feel better about yourself! I could become a Buddha a next day and you'd still find something to banter endlessly over!
Also, you're a hypocrite because I know you don't have the balls to post this in the comments section.
I do get solitude but I notice the constant flipping over and destabilizing foundation is terrifying because this life is all there is. There is nothing "great" about you experiencing Infinity. So what? Actually you constantly being in communion with Infinity makes you a Nothing, and while you may take refuge in some solipsism and extreme barrier, I recommend you read Derrida more about that, since he thinks it's ridiculous.
The only advantage to being a Nothing in Infinity is when you're at death's door! You may say it is everything or blah blah, but that's the same as nothing since the interweaving movement between stability and oscillation is what makes life what it is. The loss of light at Death will all make us equal, so stop being such a cocky motherfucker.
I bet you most people have experienced once or twice in their lives. Who gives a fuck? Get over yourself, dickweeb.
I hate Marquis de Sade, but he's more right than we'd like to admit. So what if you experience Infinity here and there? You still shit, eat, and do what everyone else does, and then die. Look at lit houses against backdrop of Infinite blackness at the night before dawn once in your life. There is some secret there, that I have learned, which you haven't opened up to yet. I have surpassed you in some respect because I know this aspect of life better than you. Life still sucks and you have to wake up to the nightmare endlessly, and this is just a game for you to feel better about yourself, your incompetence. All fades away eventually. I have been mean here because you keep insulting me when I respect your desire of giving privacy. Respect me now.
"I've spent a lot of time writing and editing my play, about 200 hrs. Andrew and that stupid dumbass Jason keep demeaning me, sometimes demotivating me.
I really hate them, but they won't shut the fuck up about me. Andrew keeps telling me to quit posting on his dumb blog, but he keeps mentioning me. I wish he would just bug off and cease talking about me.
It creeps me out because sometimes I think he's like one of those dumb rednecks who constantly bully homosexuals because they themselves have repressed homosexual urges. I think Andrew is genuinely dense because he reads so much goddamn literature extolling humility, but he is the biggest self-aggrandizing jerks I've ever known.
I know for sure Sa'di would punch him in the face."
My play discreetly mocks you. I will not let you read it after it's done. After it is published, you will most likely purchase and read it then, thereby becoming depressive. This will be your karma for your inability of self-criticism and constant abusive attitude. It will always be there for you to purchase. You will lose all poetic inspiration once you read my play, and you will come to experience the night before the dawn, which is far stronger than St. John of the Cross' dark night of the soul.
Fuck you. No goodbye for you, has-been. You are the very image of what you hate: Brad Warner and you are not really the different and the only reason you like Jason is because he is a brain-damaged cuckhold who imitates your style.
My final post for real. Derrida would slap you because you deal with the aporias of life by becoming a dense abusive asshole who lacks self-reflective capacity. I doubt you could even pass a false-belief test.
You think you are a genius and beyond all criticisms, but your mind is shit compared to a true genius such as Borges. From the introduction on Dreamtigers written by Miguel Enguidanos:
"A life that has been, more than anything else, an internal life, a truly private life of calm self-possession and 'recogimiento'."
"A life of 'recogimiento' is the life of the solitary man who accepts and lives in perfect harmony with his solitude, nurturing himself on what the soul has within it, an unfathomable and, for many, unsuspected treasure."
"the weapon for combating life's final disillusionment, time's inexorable weight, and the terror and anguish of darkness, is none other than his capacity to dream and to sing. Dreams and song make the world bearable, habitable; they make the dark places bright."
"'In this night of his mortal eyes, into which he was now descending, love and danger were again waiting.'"
"for what the poet dreams of is nothing less than a loving communion between the voices of the poets."
It's better to publish material than write nonsense on blogs endlessly.
This blog is filled with 10% genuine good stuff and 90% bullshit obsessed with demeaning Brad and others. No one can always write material on the level of Emily Dickinson, and most your crap isn't on that level. However, I do admit, you do have a few good poems here and there, but you've also admitted I've written good poems too. The point is, unless you publish it... it doesn't matter. Someone could plagiarize your good poems, and neither of us would want that.
Blogs are not good because most people are plagiarizers at heart.
You need to stop being so judgemental, self-aggrandizing, and take everything in context. The fact I actually have taken time to listen to you and read a lot of what you have written + recommended does not make me a moron like Brad.
Well, then, I guess you're a hypocrite considering you were justly banned from Brad's blog and other blogs for doing the same thing I'm doing now.
The issue with you is you're like Don Quixote: you think you're impeccable and have everything figures out, so you are beyond all criticism. When someone does the same thing you've done on other blogs, you go apeshit.
And you claimed I have no self-awareness?
Just admit it, the pupil is starting to transcend his teacher.
I'm not filling my time with anime and j-pop. If you couldn't tell, I have been reading a lot of good literature and getting contemplative time.
It's you that's being the asshole here.
Also stop mentioning ligotti.new. Most of my posts there aren't great but occasionally there were good ones. People recommend good pessimistic literature there such as Baudelaire, whose poetry I love.
I know, it was late last night. One typo isn't enough to make me stupid. I tend to make a couple of typos at night, so I reread to catch them. There is no edit function, so I can't do that here.
"blog is closed for comments, this time for reals" - aaaand you let his manic logorrhoea through again, 10 comments already... and why? Because you secretly enjoy it, innit! The stalking feeds your narcissism dude. You're [sic] own Papa-paparazzi. -
Zephyr, btw you sound like a real nut case in this thread... what happened is you are afflicted with the phenomenon called "transference", you projected a father-figure into Andrew, but Andrew is now pushing you away and you're acting out. My advice is: find another master. As the great Philip Seymour Hoffman stated in that movie: ‘Everyone needs a master.’
sepehr, i just offered a correction because you had made the same mistake as before and is also something i had thought about with my own typos which are many . . ,
do you see how hostile your response was, i didn't say or imply anything about you being stupid, maybe there was a gentle irony, but that was the fortuitous content of the mistake !
"No need to be a pompous arsehole"
when someone offers me a valid correction, i take it on board without being abusive !
I say a lot of your writing is good, but recently, it hasn't been quite there. Not everything we churn out can always reach our best level.
Look at some of your older poems. They were really good. Your recent ones, in this month in particular, have not been as good.
We all have problems to work on. I have my own, and a lot of your constructive criticism was indeed valid. However, you need to look at your OWN problems, considering how much you value self-criticism, my friend. Your problem is simple and only one: you compare yourself to others too much and unknowingly fall into the trap of self-aggrandizement on many occasions. I'm not sure if it's out of feeling hurt or simply wanting to hurt the others that you constantly compare and elevate yourself, but I recommend you learn more about that solitude (you glorify) and take that state of mind in how you conduct yourself with others, since relationship is a mirror and currently you're looking quite grotesque with your incessant insults and battering of others. That solitude is the breakdown of comparison into the solipsism, you frequently herald as freeing, so why do you constantly compare without pause?
"last night i was out hunting and just sat on a branch for an hour and ‘ felt ’ the night sky moonlit landscape and complete absence of human noise . ."
Honestly, this is not that hard to get. Most people get it all the time. They just don't brag about it. You bragging about it, makes it worthless, that's the problem. You gratifying from it, makes it worthless. That's why your recent posts have been nothing but bragging about how you get solitude and how others are somehow inferior about it. Your older posts were about being reduced to Infinity, about not taking the hurt personally, the love of everything regardless of its pain.
You see, lately, you have been comparing yourself to others too much, and it has adversely affected your mind to the point where you can truly be alone when hunting.
When I go out alone and self-reflect on my life, I don't store it in my memory to belittle others like you. I let it decimate me and become one with the impersonal flow of the black gyrating stars. Something you don't do often because you are obsessed with constant comparison.
It's not healthy for your mind to constantly measure yourself to others or gauge their level of understanding. When you focus only on yourself and give advice based off good-will, then you are better, but lately, you have been extremely rude and haughty with your derogatory attitude. Your older posts had a more genuine voice, but you are losing it.
"I let it decimate me and become one with the impersonal flow of the black gyrating stars "
that's the wrong space and no doubt why you are choking on what i am writing
the space i am talking about is full and encompasses all of life and includes human love and attachment "at rest in the bosom" of infinity so speak, this is the problem, one of the divides if you live for human attachment
because of this and that investment in and allowance of the "full" space when i write and talk i am looking from the "other side of death" to you
there's no horror in this space, its all beauty . .
i noticed i shrugged my shoulders writing that . .
The issue with you is you revel in contradiction as a way to elude the numerous aporias you claim to dispel. Derrida, for example, would not agree it is "all beauty". The whole binary between beauty and ugliness is ostentatious -- what is betwixt, within, and beyond them continuously upends their foundations to reveal "undecidables" (i.e., indeterminacy) and the "trace" -- the interweaving movement between the two, the interplay between absence and presence at their foundation which involves the constant deferring of a meaning that is never present.
Furthermore, you have said -- numerous times in the past -- that Infinity does not include romantic attachment. However, now you say it includes "human love and attachment at rest in the bosom"? This sophism is simply a way for you to further your self-aggrandizement and slew of insults to others. In the past, I believed these insults to have a expedient function that was meant to facilitate an awakening experience in conjunction with daily solitude or that like, but now I have my significant doubts. As you've said, "meaninglessness opens the gate, but entry is walking through the meaning of it ! handling recursion and making meaning out of meaninglessness is where it begins and ends !" What you're saying now is entirely meaningless because it is chock-full of contradictions in light of your past claims, so at what point do I simply dismiss it all as nonsense? The Earth is not flat, the planets do not orbit around the sun, these are basic falsifiable facts -- something a solipsist could dismiss as not conforming to his or her directly accessible mental contents, a kind of "naive realism". At a certain point, I have to weigh what you say as actual in relation to your past contradictory claims.
My solitude has shown me life is more despairing than we think. By "despairing", I do not mean it in the sense of pain, but in the sense of everything being insufficient. You finding beauty in life is insufficient. All human love and attachment is insufficient. This is what you have said and speaks more to me than your hypocritical hippy love attitude. Our lives are totally meaningless in the grand scheme of the human travail, that we cannot help parse some sense into it -- clinging to it for a sense of self-validation. We are all our own dictators at the end of the day. This is why your solitude is crippled because you go on Reddit, random blogs, and so forth constantly admonishing and belittling others -- like an authoritative dictator. Even those who wish to be on friendly terms you have insulted and so forth. None of this matters at the end of the day, for as you've said, "Death is the loss of light and cessation of pain." That's all that matters because during one's last moment of life, it will all feel like a drop of water, a single moment, that could never be enough -- utterly insufficient.
You praised the writing, and obviously you don't like mediocrity. I doubt you would praise mediocrity.
Just admit it, you are hypocrite who is trying to demean me as a way for self-aggrandizement. Like I've said, you need to quit this constant comparison, even during a normal conversation -- which then turns into vitriolic conflict. It prevents any sincere, kind-hearted conversation.
I still think your recent stuff haven't been as good as your past. You're not letting yourself be absorbed into Infinity anymore because your constant comparison and measuring up to others serves as a kind of barrier. You have been sounding very contrived lately.
Like I've told you, you are not special for getting solitude. Plenty of people get that and do Shikantaza. You are not some demigod.
Also, I never told you what my play is about.
More people think you're the endless sink, honestly.
Also, I don't get why you lump me with Zakaj, considering he doesn't agree with you at all, whereas I agreed on many points. The only person you really get along with is Jason because he IMITATES your style, something you criticize (others - whom you haven't even read). You tell people not to imitate and when someone imitates you that's fine?
sepehr, there's some wall that's come between us, things change, i don't think its healthy for you to hold that attitude and be posting to me and perhaps its not healthy for me either to be locked into the constant decompression that replying to you entails
i learnt with reddit zen to only read and not post there, maybe that would work for you, read my writing if you wish and don't post !
You misinterpreted me. I was saying my play is about " the motion and the fluidity of movement through the motion . ."
I think this is what caused the disagreement. That's what my play is about, or at least ends with. It's about the breakdown of a "solid sense of some scheme".
That's what I was responding to, but you jumping to accusations, assumed I was referring to something else.
" the problem is, sepehr, why we are always bound to a huge degree of conflict is we disagree very fundamentally "
Read the above post. We pretty much agreed:
"You misinterpreted me. I was saying my play is about " the motion and the fluidity of movement through the motion . ."
I think this is what caused the disagreement. That's what my play is about, or at least ends with. It's about the breakdown of a "solid sense of some scheme".
That's what I was responding to, but you jumping to accusations, assumed I was referring to something else."
sepehr, your post itself is conflict and this reply is conflict
for one thing you think i have no judgment and i can say "we disagree on a fundamental level" and you can tell me i am wrong and that this is some simple matter of variance over a few minor issues
if you weren't in conflict then the whole point of zen and me being an approved master sanctioned directly by the sixth patriarch would be pointless . . .
like it doesn't take a lifetimes work and being basically celibate . .
some johnny come lately like yourself whose experience is media entertainment and total obtuseness to what he is being told . .
My experience is not media entertainment. I have been reading a lot of good poetry and such. I don't understand why you are constantly antagonizing me lately.
sepehr, when you delete posts you are trying to craft an image to present to the world !
instead, you need to be yourself to the world and leave them up !
that's that's the difference between the specious bullshit you write and acting doing something which is not deleting your posts that you think don't reflect the image you want to project !
"My experience is not media entertainment. I have been reading a lot of good poetry and such. I don't understand why you are constantly antagonizing me lately. "
sepehr this is my blog and you are not listening !
g o a w a y
i got better things to do than waste of time idiots !
you treat this blog like you own it, you can't even see that, mr. "inconsiderate", you really have problems with common courtesy, you know real life stuff !
I deleted the posts because I realized it was due to a misunderstanding. I was responding to a post which you mistook me for responding to another one.
I was agreeing with this:
"sepehr, what you have to do is take “ meaningful ” in one hand and “ meaningless ” in the other and juggle them to get meaning which comes from the balls in motion, not static representation like you are (trying) to do !
i can instantly tell whether some-one is enlightened or understands through this, the way they have too solid a sense of some schema they are trying to impose
its the motion and the fluidity of movement through the motion . ."
Why are you sounding utterly dense lately. I looked at my earlier posts, and I was agreeing with you on what I quoted. My play is about the breakdown of a "solid sense of some scheme" and " the motion and the fluidity of movement through the motion . ." It's filled to the brim with similar poetry, written by me, that you have recently praised.
Stop bullying me! We even agreed, you damn numbskull. I've been watching Derrida videos, reading a bunch of poetry, getting moderate solitude, and so forth. I just don't start a blog because I'm applying it to a fucking play, but you constantly attacking me DEMOTIVATES me.
Better yet, just SHUT THE FUCK UP about me altogether, you stupid bogie. I am really losing my patience. I am a VERY patient man, but you are tiring me out of hell. It is constant CONFLICT with you, even when others agree you, numbskull.
sepehr, i've asked for a year's no contact, that's a major ask but you have not replied to that question !
you criticise me lumping you with zakaj as you claim to be different, but both of you just skip over the important issues though zakaj did finally get that his "guru pushing" was incompatible with the 7th zen patriarch approach !
for all i know you could be writing a commercially successful play but that's not what this blog is about . .
you have different interests . .
so my ask is for a years no contact, can you reply to this ?
I'll make a deal. If you dislike my play, I will never post again, but if it is 7thzenpatriarch material, you will Paypal me 100 dollars and never insult me again. Also, this deal requires not breaching the contract of not sharing my material. You cannot quote the material or share it with Jason or others.
the point is not whether i dislike it or not, but whether this dialogue is productive for me !
its like my dealings with zakaj, initially productive and then it became unproductive because he didn't move forwards
there is a wall between us and it just hasn't changed but our contact has now become unproductive to me and i don't think its healthy for you at this point, you have different interests and in my view its time to break contact . .
you are writing your own play and you need to cultivate your own audience and in my view the best way to do that is use anime and play authoring tools to put up a video or is that too real world for you ?
i have the same issue, i can't afford the time this dialoguing is taking , life's requirement is for me to get back into real life more . .
My play is trying to reach 7thzenpatriarch material. It is not entertainment. It has heavily been inspired by our dialogues and your poetry. INSPIRED - not plagiarized. I would be lying if I said I wasn't inspired by you, which is why I am taking great offense over your insults directed to me.
I AGREED with you.I recently had a well-mannered debate with Zakaj where I defended your and Derrida's process ontology over Hinduism's idealistic monism.
I have taken notes on what you've said and compared them to Derrida's works.
Like I've said, if my play is 7thzenpatriarch material, which means it is not entertainment, then I request a 100 dollars and no more insults. However, if is mere entertainment that lacks depth, then I will never respond again and supplicate to your wisdom with my silence.
the union of 7th zen patriarch "material" and literature and art is "magical realism" which can be done quite subtly in monet and jane austen and more overtly as in twelfth night with the complete external identity of the twins and the alphabet raining down from the sky in one of janet frame's books
that is great art and glimmers and shines with infinity, its a tall ask !
Don't pay attention to the content of what UG is saying, it's not about that, it's about the relationship dynamic there. Observe the details. It's uncanny how what you are doing is identical to what that Rabbi is doing in the vid!
Zakaj, I have been trying to ignore/avoid Andrew for the past week or two, but he won't shut the fuck up about me with his slander. He keeps slandering me every second. The difference is, I'm not a cuck and I'm defending myself to his accusations. Imagine if UG were the one insulting him and he felt compelled to defend what he is doing. The fact Andrew has admitted he has an attention span of 5 min is very telling.
Zephyr but the point is, you don't have to be here and read HIS blog. You can just turn it off at any time! He is not slandering your name, he is using a pseudonym anyway! You want to feel offended! It's HIS blog if you don't want to be slandered you just press the "X" at the top-right and close the tab!
Andrew is bipolar. One moment he says he's interested in my play and thinks I have a gift for it, referring to one of my past plays, and the next moment he totally scoffs at it WITHOUT even seeing it. The difference is when I walk away, he won't shut the fuck up about me.
I'm pretty sure all Andrew and Jason do is gossip behind my back like a bunch of petty of women! For being celibate, they sure do come off as a bunch of whiny bitches.
Because short attention span makes one "lose attention to details" and "lack rigor"; foibles that hypocrite bastard An3drew admonishes people over. You, being a cuckhold, cannot help but join in with his abuse towards others.
"i have noticed that second place winners in arts and literary competitions are often better than the first, says something about the judges and the nature of the people who want to make those decisions unfortunately !"
i was thinking about how melancholia didn't do so well at cannes
You have an attention span of 5 minutes. Don't patronize me.
I am writing from my own experience. Do you think great books like Crime and Punishment were written overnight? Also, the play took me 4-6 months, not 2 years. It's almost done, but I'm having other people look at it and give me suggestions.
sepehr you are not writing a great book, just giving the world what it is filled to the brim of, derivative junk !
for one brought up with the net, you seem surprisingly out of touch with today's publishing realities, a world awash with useless words and all you can do is add to the pile !
this blog is about 7th patriarch zen, a charitable endeavour on my part as there is no good information apart from what i write on the subject today, but you have twisted and distorted it so i am not happy with you !
i reserve the right to decompress the bad experience you have given me, it will take months or even a year or so, if you don't want to be mentioned go away and let time erode my memory of you to abatement ! : o)
You haven't even read my goddamn play, you fucking idiot. You don't know whether it is good or bad, you insensitive prick. You even said my last play was good and that you're going to be a has-been. Why change your mind now?
You asked me to stop posting here, yet why do you still bicker behind my back without giving me the opportunity to respond back anymore? You censor me, being a hypocrite. I am totally disillusioned with you now. I regret ever thinking you were enlightened.
ReplyDeleteYou need to stop judging writers you haven't even read. Ligotti is pretty much the 21st century version of Poe, but he is of course different. You don't even understand Derrida's iterability and grafting. While I agree with your emphasis on true creativity being based on one's experience, you have to also realize true creativity 100% isn't possible because we are borrowing words that tie into a genealogy that has relations to myths or whatever. If someone makes an allusion to some myth (e.g., Greek mythology) in his poetry, does that make him a fraud? Does that make him unoriginal?
I'm sick and tired of your authoritative behaviour. You give no respite even after they cease posting.
You're going to be a has-been soon enough because you're an asshole.
I'm really fed up with all this abuse that comes from nowhere. Both you and Jason are way too damaged.
We're not going to like all of the same artists. So what? You'd probably hate David Lynch too, but there is no way in hell I'd ever be able not to see his amazing artistic talent.
I just don't think this world is that great. You even said when you wake up now, life is a continuance of a nightmare, and I don't want to be part of either Brad's circle-jerking or your masquerade. Own up to your mask and self-aggrandizement. It's silly. Peel back your mask and realize how stupid you are being. You're insulting a congenial person who has listened to you for over 2 yrs, who you have constantly complimented on numerous occasions, you autistic broke robot. You're constantly obsessing over Brad, Zakaj, and me (who btw has constantly complimented but is now fed up). Stop talking about me.
Let's be honest, you don't generally care if I become a good artist or get solitude time! It's just a game for you to feel better about yourself! I could become a Buddha a next day and you'd still find something to banter endlessly over!
Also, you're a hypocrite because I know you don't have the balls to post this in the comments section.
I do get solitude but I notice the constant flipping over and destabilizing foundation is terrifying because this life is all there is. There is nothing "great" about you experiencing Infinity. So what? Actually you constantly being in communion with Infinity makes you a Nothing, and while you may take refuge in some solipsism and extreme barrier, I recommend you read Derrida more about that, since he thinks it's ridiculous.
The only advantage to being a Nothing in Infinity is when you're at death's door! You may say it is everything or blah blah, but that's the same as nothing since the interweaving movement between stability and oscillation is what makes life what it is. The loss of light at Death will all make us equal, so stop being such a cocky motherfucker.
I bet you most people have experienced once or twice in their lives. Who gives a fuck? Get over yourself, dickweeb.
I hate Marquis de Sade, but he's more right than we'd like to admit. So what if you experience Infinity here and there? You still shit, eat, and do what everyone else does, and then die. Look at lit houses against backdrop of Infinite blackness at the night before dawn once in your life. There is some secret there, that I have learned, which you haven't opened up to yet. I have surpassed you in some respect because I know this aspect of life better than you. Life still sucks and you have to wake up to the nightmare endlessly, and this is just a game for you to feel better about yourself, your incompetence. All fades away eventually. I have been mean here because you keep insulting me when I respect your desire of giving privacy. Respect me now.
"I've spent a lot of time writing and editing my play, about 200 hrs. Andrew and that stupid dumbass Jason keep demeaning me, sometimes demotivating me.
ReplyDeleteI really hate them, but they won't shut the fuck up about me. Andrew keeps telling me to quit posting on his dumb blog, but he keeps mentioning me. I wish he would just bug off and cease talking about me.
It creeps me out because sometimes I think he's like one of those dumb rednecks who constantly bully homosexuals because they themselves have repressed homosexual urges. I think Andrew is genuinely dense because he reads so much goddamn literature extolling humility, but he is the biggest self-aggrandizing jerks I've ever known.
I know for sure Sa'di would punch him in the face."
Deletesepehr, my reply
My play discreetly mocks you. I will not let you read it after it's done. After it is published, you will most likely purchase and read it then, thereby becoming depressive. This will be your karma for your inability of self-criticism and constant abusive attitude. It will always be there for you to purchase. You will lose all poetic inspiration once you read my play, and you will come to experience the night before the dawn, which is far stronger than St. John of the Cross' dark night of the soul.
ReplyDeleteFuck you. No goodbye for you, has-been. You are the very image of what you hate: Brad Warner and you are not really the different and the only reason you like Jason is because he is a brain-damaged cuckhold who imitates your style.
My final post for real. Derrida would slap you because you deal with the aporias of life by becoming a dense abusive asshole who lacks self-reflective capacity. I doubt you could even pass a false-belief test.
"My final post for real'
Delete: o )
A lot of my posts on TLO haven't been the best but a lot of them have been okay. I've learned about a lot of good writers such as Cioran from there.
ReplyDeleteI mean, I. wish. I. could. say. the. same. for. you.
You don't even understand most of the literature you post on your recommended reading list. They extoll humility, which you have none.
for gods sake post on TLO then and not here
Deleteits so exactly like zakaj its weird, you really have different opinion (cioran in my view is 2nd rate)
but here's where you post in what is a hostile fashion because the disagreement is so profound . .
this is the 7th zen patriarch blog and it is an authentic mystical tradition . .
vote with your feet, post to those you agree with instead of sucking my time endlessly !
you need daily contemplation to make sense of what i write which is different from filling one's time with anime, j-pop and various ligotti crap !
You think you are a genius and beyond all criticisms, but your mind is shit compared to a true genius such as Borges. From the introduction on Dreamtigers written by Miguel Enguidanos:
ReplyDelete"A life that has been, more than anything else, an internal life, a truly private life of calm self-possession and 'recogimiento'."
"A life of 'recogimiento' is the life of the solitary man who accepts and lives in perfect harmony with his solitude, nurturing himself on what the soul has within it, an unfathomable and, for many, unsuspected treasure."
"the weapon for combating life's final disillusionment, time's inexorable weight, and the terror and anguish of darkness, is none other than his capacity to dream and to sing. Dreams and song make the world bearable, habitable; they make the dark places bright."
"'In this night of his mortal eyes, into which he was now descending, love and danger were again waiting.'"
"for what the poet dreams of is nothing less than a loving communion between the voices of the poets."
You are nothing compared to either Borges OR me.
"You are nothing compared to either Borges OR me"
Deletethen don't demean yourself with these long nonsense posts to me
occupy yourself with your own writing if you can
mr. "won't even do his own blog"
sepehr you seem to have got by all your life on b u l l s h i t . .
It's better to publish material than write nonsense on blogs endlessly.
DeleteThis blog is filled with 10% genuine good stuff and 90% bullshit obsessed with demeaning Brad and others. No one can always write material on the level of Emily Dickinson, and most your crap isn't on that level. However, I do admit, you do have a few good poems here and there, but you've also admitted I've written good poems too. The point is, unless you publish it... it doesn't matter. Someone could plagiarize your good poems, and neither of us would want that.
Blogs are not good because most people are plagiarizers at heart.
You need to stop being so judgemental, self-aggrandizing, and take everything in context. The fact I actually have taken time to listen to you and read a lot of what you have written + recommended does not make me a moron like Brad.
Do you ever apply any criticism to yourself?
if some-one doesn't want contact with someone-else, but that someonelse keeps contacting them what is that ?
DeleteWell, then, I guess you're a hypocrite considering you were justly banned from Brad's blog and other blogs for doing the same thing I'm doing now.
DeleteThe issue with you is you're like Don Quixote: you think you're impeccable and have everything figures out, so you are beyond all criticism. When someone does the same thing you've done on other blogs, you go apeshit.
And you claimed I have no self-awareness?
Just admit it, the pupil is starting to transcend his teacher.
manic again ? then the crash, then the semi retraction, then the mania again ?
DeleteI'm not filling my time with anime and j-pop. If you couldn't tell, I have been reading a lot of good literature and getting contemplative time.
DeleteIt's you that's being the asshole here.
Also stop mentioning ligotti.new. Most of my posts there aren't great but occasionally there were good ones. People recommend good pessimistic literature there such as Baudelaire, whose poetry I love.
You're pushing away you're only sane reader.
"you're only sane reader"
Delete*your* only sane reader.
I know, it was late last night. One typo isn't enough to make me stupid. I tend to make a couple of typos at night, so I reread to catch them. There is no edit function, so I can't do that here.
DeleteNo need to be a pompous arsehole.
"blog is closed for comments, this time for reals" - aaaand you let his manic logorrhoea through again, 10 comments already... and why? Because you secretly enjoy it, innit! The stalking feeds your narcissism dude. You're [sic] own Papa-paparazzi. -
DeleteZephyr, btw you sound like a real nut case in this thread... what happened is you are afflicted with the phenomenon called "transference", you projected a father-figure into Andrew, but Andrew is now pushing you away and you're acting out. My advice is: find another master. As the great Philip Seymour Hoffman stated in that movie: ‘Everyone needs a master.’
how the fuck am i insane you obnoxious cunt
ReplyDelete"One typo isn't enough to make me stupid"
ReplyDeletesepehr, i just offered a correction because you had made the same mistake as before and is also something i had thought about with my own typos which are many . . ,
do you see how hostile your response was, i didn't say or imply anything about you being stupid, maybe there was a gentle irony, but that was the fortuitous content of the mistake !
"No need to be a pompous arsehole"
when someone offers me a valid correction, i take it on board without being abusive !
Ok, sorry, about the last comment.
DeleteI really have nothing against you. I think you're very wise and stuff. You're right about a lot of stuff.
No one is perfect or whatever.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletezephyr wrote and removed
ReplyDelete"I used to blog, but I stopped because I have no interest in entertaining the rabble. A blog is not contemplative work.
Getting solitude and publishing good written work is contemplative work... You're last few posts have been ridiculous."
my reply
sepehr, you are rather a dull moth attracted to the flame of my better writing . .
the world is full of mediocre talents pissing on anything of quality, do you feel comfortable amongst those ?
i t i s t e l l i n g . .
I say a lot of your writing is good, but recently, it hasn't been quite there. Not everything we churn out can always reach our best level.
DeleteLook at some of your older poems. They were really good. Your recent ones, in this month in particular, have not been as good.
We all have problems to work on. I have my own, and a lot of your constructive criticism was indeed valid. However, you need to look at your OWN problems, considering how much you value self-criticism, my friend. Your problem is simple and only one: you compare yourself to others too much and unknowingly fall into the trap of self-aggrandizement on many occasions. I'm not sure if it's out of feeling hurt or simply wanting to hurt the others that you constantly compare and elevate yourself, but I recommend you learn more about that solitude (you glorify) and take that state of mind in how you conduct yourself with others, since relationship is a mirror and currently you're looking quite grotesque with your incessant insults and battering of others. That solitude is the breakdown of comparison into the solipsism, you frequently herald as freeing, so why do you constantly compare without pause?
“ I say a lot of your writing is good, but recently, it hasn't been quite there. Not everything we churn out can always reach our best level ”
ReplyDeletethe thing with my older poems i was writing less so it looks like i was producing more of that sort of material relative to other things !
“ . . and currently you're looking quite grotesque with your incessant insults and battering of others ”
iʼd beat them to a bloody pulp with an axe handle i could, words don't break the needed bones ! :o)
i don't glorify solitude i glorify what comes with it . .
last night i was out hunting and just sat on a branch for an hour and ‘ felt ’ the night sky moonlit landscape and complete absence of human noise . .
you are welcome to anime and wrong minded preaching . .
"last night i was out hunting and just sat on a branch for an hour and ‘ felt ’ the night sky moonlit landscape and complete absence of human noise . ."
DeleteHonestly, this is not that hard to get. Most people get it all the time. They just don't brag about it. You bragging about it, makes it worthless, that's the problem. You gratifying from it, makes it worthless. That's why your recent posts have been nothing but bragging about how you get solitude and how others are somehow inferior about it. Your older posts were about being reduced to Infinity, about not taking the hurt personally, the love of everything regardless of its pain.
You see, lately, you have been comparing yourself to others too much, and it has adversely affected your mind to the point where you can truly be alone when hunting.
When I go out alone and self-reflect on my life, I don't store it in my memory to belittle others like you. I let it decimate me and become one with the impersonal flow of the black gyrating stars. Something you don't do often because you are obsessed with constant comparison.
It's not healthy for your mind to constantly measure yourself to others or gauge their level of understanding. When you focus only on yourself and give advice based off good-will, then you are better, but lately, you have been extremely rude and haughty with your derogatory attitude. Your older posts had a more genuine voice, but you are losing it.
where you cannot* truly be alone when*
Delete"I let it decimate me and become one with the impersonal flow of the black gyrating stars "
Deletethat's the wrong space and no doubt why you are choking on what i am writing
the space i am talking about is full and encompasses all of life and includes human love and attachment "at rest in the bosom" of infinity so speak, this is the problem, one of the divides if you live for human attachment
because of this and that investment in and allowance of the "full" space when i write and talk i am looking from the "other side of death" to you
there's no horror in this space, its all beauty . .
i noticed i shrugged my shoulders writing that . .
The issue with you is you revel in contradiction as a way to elude the numerous aporias you claim to dispel. Derrida, for example, would not agree it is "all beauty". The whole binary between beauty and ugliness is ostentatious -- what is betwixt, within, and beyond them continuously upends their foundations to reveal "undecidables" (i.e., indeterminacy) and the "trace" -- the interweaving movement between the two, the interplay between absence and presence at their foundation which involves the constant deferring of a meaning that is never present.
DeleteFurthermore, you have said -- numerous times in the past -- that Infinity does not include romantic attachment. However, now you say it includes "human love and attachment at rest in the bosom"? This sophism is simply a way for you to further your self-aggrandizement and slew of insults to others. In the past, I believed these insults to have a expedient function that was meant to facilitate an awakening experience in conjunction with daily solitude or that like, but now I have my significant doubts. As you've said, "meaninglessness opens the gate, but entry is walking through the meaning of it ! handling recursion and making meaning out of meaninglessness is where it begins and ends !" What you're saying now is entirely meaningless because it is chock-full of contradictions in light of your past claims, so at what point do I simply dismiss it all as nonsense? The Earth is not flat, the planets do not orbit around the sun, these are basic falsifiable facts -- something a solipsist could dismiss as not conforming to his or her directly accessible mental contents, a kind of "naive realism". At a certain point, I have to weigh what you say as actual in relation to your past contradictory claims.
My solitude has shown me life is more despairing than we think. By "despairing", I do not mean it in the sense of pain, but in the sense of everything being insufficient. You finding beauty in life is insufficient. All human love and attachment is insufficient. This is what you have said and speaks more to me than your hypocritical hippy love attitude. Our lives are totally meaningless in the grand scheme of the human travail, that we cannot help parse some sense into it -- clinging to it for a sense of self-validation. We are all our own dictators at the end of the day. This is why your solitude is crippled because you go on Reddit, random blogs, and so forth constantly admonishing and belittling others -- like an authoritative dictator. Even those who wish to be on friendly terms you have insulted and so forth. None of this matters at the end of the day, for as you've said, "Death is the loss of light and cessation of pain." That's all that matters because during one's last moment of life, it will all feel like a drop of water, a single moment, that could never be enough -- utterly insufficient.
typo: "the planets do not orbit around the earth**"
Delete
Deletei am certain
he is certain
certainty has a field day
but one of us is right
and the other is wrong
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete
Deletei already know what your play is about, it can't be any different from what you are
the play is not any answer, it will reflect your errors
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deletei know what you are writing because i am reading your posts !
Deleteits the same problem as zakaj, just half worked voynich, i'm not going to step in and fix it for you !
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deletethe world loves mediocrity !
Delete"good" is seen in that light !
personally i don' t give a fig for what anyone thinks of my writing tho it is gratifying to see it appreciated !
You praised the writing, and obviously you don't like mediocrity. I doubt you would praise mediocrity.
DeleteJust admit it, you are hypocrite who is trying to demean me as a way for self-aggrandizement. Like I've said, you need to quit this constant comparison, even during a normal conversation -- which then turns into vitriolic conflict. It prevents any sincere, kind-hearted conversation.
I still think your recent stuff haven't been as good as your past. You're not letting yourself be absorbed into Infinity anymore because your constant comparison and measuring up to others serves as a kind of barrier. You have been sounding very contrived lately.
i have my advice for you in recent entries on
Deletehttp://mueller_ranges.tripod.com/andrew/pending_poems140.html
i can't really say more than that, you don't think its valid or you think it contrived or whatever
you like zakaj are an endless sink of need and its not my business to supply what you yourself are unwilling to do !
Like I've told you, you are not special for getting solitude. Plenty of people get that and do Shikantaza. You are not some demigod.
DeleteAlso, I never told you what my play is about.
More people think you're the endless sink, honestly.
Also, I don't get why you lump me with Zakaj, considering he doesn't agree with you at all, whereas I agreed on many points. The only person you really get along with is Jason because he IMITATES your style, something you criticize (others - whom you haven't even read). You tell people not to imitate and when someone imitates you that's fine?
Fuck off.
sepehr, there's some wall that's come between us, things change, i don't think its healthy for you to hold that attitude and be posting to me and perhaps its not healthy for me either to be locked into the constant decompression that replying to you entails
Deletei learnt with reddit zen to only read and not post there, maybe that would work for you, read my writing if you wish and don't post !
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deleteyeah, i'm not interested in seeing it and actually i'm not interested in bleeding to death replying to you here either !
Delete"and I don't trust you enough anymore because you're a very vindictive man"
that's a very strong thing to say, really you should stop posting here !
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYou misinterpreted me. I was saying my play is about " the motion and the fluidity of movement through the motion . ."
DeleteI think this is what caused the disagreement. That's what my play is about, or at least ends with. It's about the breakdown of a "solid sense of some scheme".
That's what I was responding to, but you jumping to accusations, assumed I was referring to something else.
" the problem is, sepehr, why we are always bound to a huge degree of conflict is we disagree very fundamentally "
DeleteRead the above post. We pretty much agreed:
"You misinterpreted me. I was saying my play is about " the motion and the fluidity of movement through the motion . ."
I think this is what caused the disagreement. That's what my play is about, or at least ends with. It's about the breakdown of a "solid sense of some scheme".
That's what I was responding to, but you jumping to accusations, assumed I was referring to something else."
sepehr, your post itself is conflict and this reply is conflict
Deletefor one thing you think i have no judgment and i can say "we disagree on a fundamental level" and you can tell me i am wrong and that this is some simple matter of variance over a few minor issues
if you weren't in conflict then the whole point of zen and me being an approved master sanctioned directly by the sixth patriarch would be pointless . . .
like it doesn't take a lifetimes work and being basically celibate . .
some johnny come lately like yourself whose experience is media entertainment and total obtuseness to what he is being told . .
My experience is not media entertainment. I have been reading a lot of good poetry and such. I don't understand why you are constantly antagonizing me lately.
Deletesepehr, when you delete posts you are trying to craft an image to present to the world !
Deleteinstead, you need to be yourself to the world and leave them up !
that's that's the difference between the specious bullshit you write and acting doing something which is not deleting your posts that you think don't reflect the image you want to project !
"My experience is not media entertainment. I have been reading a lot of good poetry and such. I don't understand why you are constantly antagonizing me lately. "
Deletesepehr this is my blog and you are not listening !
g o a w a y
i got better things to do than waste of time idiots !
you treat this blog like you own it, you can't even see that, mr. "inconsiderate", you really have problems with common courtesy, you know real life stuff !
I deleted the posts because I realized it was due to a misunderstanding. I was responding to a post which you mistook me for responding to another one.
DeleteI was agreeing with this:
"sepehr, what you have to do is take “ meaningful ” in one hand and “ meaningless ” in the other and juggle them to get meaning which comes from the balls in motion, not static representation like you are (trying) to do !
i can instantly tell whether some-one is enlightened or understands through this, the way they have too solid a sense of some schema they are trying to impose
its the motion and the fluidity of movement through the motion . ."
---
I said my play is ABOUT that.
"I deleted the posts because I realized it was due to a misunderstanding"
ReplyDeletei've got records of your posts, i know what they say, you are not being honest !
"My experience is not media entertainment"
that's not true either is it?
you are not being honest with yourself and you are not being honest with me !
i really want a year of no contact with you, there's no point in arguing, i just want that !
it will take me a while to decompress you, i will still use you as a discussion point on "pending_poems" but will only refer to you via an inital !
so if you are listening what am i asking ? is agreement that difficult ?
Why are you sounding utterly dense lately. I looked at my earlier posts, and I was agreeing with you on what I quoted. My play is about the breakdown of a "solid sense of some scheme" and " the motion and the fluidity of movement through the motion . ." It's filled to the brim with similar poetry, written by me, that you have recently praised.
DeleteStop bullying me! We even agreed, you damn numbskull. I've been watching Derrida videos, reading a bunch of poetry, getting moderate solitude, and so forth. I just don't start a blog because I'm applying it to a fucking play, but you constantly attacking me DEMOTIVATES me.
Better yet, just SHUT THE FUCK UP about me altogether, you stupid bogie. I am really losing my patience. I am a VERY patient man, but you are tiring me out of hell. It is constant CONFLICT with you, even when others agree you, numbskull.
sepehr, i've asked for a year's no contact, that's a major ask but you have not replied to that question !
Deleteyou criticise me lumping you with zakaj as you claim to be different, but both of you just skip over the important issues though zakaj did finally get that his "guru pushing" was incompatible with the 7th zen patriarch approach !
for all i know you could be writing a commercially successful play but that's not what this blog is about . .
you have different interests . .
so my ask is for a years no contact, can you reply to this ?
I'll make a deal. If you dislike my play, I will never post again, but if it is 7thzenpatriarch material, you will Paypal me 100 dollars and never insult me again. Also, this deal requires not breaching the contract of not sharing my material. You cannot quote the material or share it with Jason or others.
DeleteDeal?
Also, I recently had a well-mannered debate with Zakaj where I defended your and Derrida's process ontology over Hinduism's idealistic monism.
Deletethe point is not whether i dislike it or not, but whether this dialogue is productive for me !
Deleteits like my dealings with zakaj, initially productive and then it became unproductive because he didn't move forwards
there is a wall between us and it just hasn't changed but our contact has now become unproductive to me and i don't think its healthy for you at this point, you have different interests and in my view its time to break contact . .
you are writing your own play and you need to cultivate your own audience and in my view the best way to do that is use anime and play authoring tools to put up a video or is that too real world for you ?
i have the same issue, i can't afford the time this dialoguing is taking , life's requirement is for me to get back into real life more . .
My play is trying to reach 7thzenpatriarch material. It is not entertainment. It has heavily been inspired by our dialogues and your poetry. INSPIRED - not plagiarized. I would be lying if I said I wasn't inspired by you, which is why I am taking great offense over your insults directed to me.
DeleteI AGREED with you.I recently had a well-mannered debate with Zakaj where I defended your and Derrida's process ontology over Hinduism's idealistic monism.
I have taken notes on what you've said and compared them to Derrida's works.
Like I've said, if my play is 7thzenpatriarch material, which means it is not entertainment, then I request a 100 dollars and no more insults. However, if is mere entertainment that lacks depth, then I will never respond again and supplicate to your wisdom with my silence.
Is this a deal?
the union of 7th zen patriarch "material" and literature and art is "magical realism" which can be done quite subtly in monet and jane austen and more overtly as in twelfth night with the complete external identity of the twins and the alphabet raining down from the sky in one of janet frame's books
Deletethat is great art and glimmers and shines with infinity, its a tall ask !
Zephyr, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vr5o1ksKjM
DeleteIt can be therapeutic to you! Watch the whole thing.
Look how the Rabbi is trying to validate his book.
UG doesn't really want to hear about it, but the Rabbi insists, and ignores UG's disinterest ...
Pushing your play to Andrew is similar to what the Rabbi is doing in the vid!
I just stumbled upon it today by chance (YouTube recommendation) and I was stunned: that is just like Zephyr and Andrew !
Don't pay attention to the content of what UG is saying, it's not about that, it's about the relationship dynamic there. Observe the details. It's uncanny how what you are doing is identical to what that Rabbi is doing in the vid!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteZakaj, I have been trying to ignore/avoid Andrew for the past week or two, but he won't shut the fuck up about me with his slander. He keeps slandering me every second. The difference is, I'm not a cuck and I'm defending myself to his accusations. Imagine if UG were the one insulting him and he felt compelled to defend what he is doing. The fact Andrew has admitted he has an attention span of 5 min is very telling.
DeleteZephyr but the point is, you don't have to be here and read HIS blog. You can just turn it off at any time! He is not slandering your name, he is using a pseudonym anyway! You want to feel offended! It's HIS blog if you don't want to be slandered you just press the "X" at the top-right and close the tab!
DeleteAndrew is bipolar. One moment he says he's interested in my play and thinks I have a gift for it, referring to one of my past plays, and the next moment he totally scoffs at it WITHOUT even seeing it. The difference is when I walk away, he won't shut the fuck up about me.
DeleteI'm pretty sure all Andrew and Jason do is gossip behind my back like a bunch of petty of women! For being celibate, they sure do come off as a bunch of whiny bitches.
petty women*
DeleteGotta fix my typos before Andrew sizes up on me based off a very small error!
An interesting article about how entertainment and lack of solitude can destroy one's mind and concentration:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/07/is-google-making-us-stupid/306868/
yeah that's a good article !
Deletethe way i write is for an attention span of five minutes, which is actually what my attention span is anyway !
jason and jon in fact have not copied this on their blogs, but seen the light as to the way attention span is going . .
its you who are out on a limb, writing a play which requires heaps of constant attention which doesn't suit modern net savvy audiences
Maybe you should show some humility for once given your weak attention span.
Deletewhy is that a negative ?
DeleteBecause short attention span makes one "lose attention to details" and "lack rigor"; foibles that hypocrite bastard An3drew admonishes people over. You, being a cuckhold, cannot help but join in with his abuse towards others.
Delete"i have noticed that second place winners in arts and literary competitions are often better than the first, says something about the judges and the nature of the people who want to make those decisions unfortunately !"
ReplyDeletei was thinking about how melancholia didn't do so well at cannes
my mother entered a poem in a competition and it got second place, but it was much better than the first !
DeleteYou have an attention span of 5 minutes. Don't patronize me.
ReplyDeleteI am writing from my own experience. Do you think great books like Crime and Punishment were written overnight? Also, the play took me 4-6 months, not 2 years. It's almost done, but I'm having other people look at it and give me suggestions.
sepehr you are not writing a great book, just giving the world what it is filled to the brim of, derivative junk !
Deletefor one brought up with the net, you seem surprisingly out of touch with today's publishing realities, a world awash with useless words and all you can do is add to the pile !
this blog is about 7th patriarch zen, a charitable endeavour on my part as there is no good information apart from what i write on the subject today, but you have twisted and distorted it so i am not happy with you !
i reserve the right to decompress the bad experience you have given me, it will take months or even a year or so, if you don't want to be mentioned go away and let time erode my memory of you to abatement ! : o)
You haven't even read my goddamn play, you fucking idiot. You don't know whether it is good or bad, you insensitive prick. You even said my last play was good and that you're going to be a has-been. Why change your mind now?
Delete