this blog is the continuation of a genuine mystical tradition, unless you get in daily contemplative time and abstain to a significant degree from "entertainment" then you are just wasting your time and mine !
when i was younger i was so upset with my brothers friends i went into the utensil drawer and started throwing knives at all of them. they ran away pretty quick upstairs. i used to be a crazy nutcase.
sepehr, the video is full on and voynich, like you i am having some life issues with the time i spend on the internet and really that sort of thing takes a lot of attention only to need to be discarded !
i think basically you are not putting enough time into things and sorting them out, too many opinions and time spent constructing some sort of "explanative" righting of the universe . .
a bit 'teflony" and skid over things . .
it's abit the pot callling the kettle black i am a f r a i d ! . . : o)
I'm buying the DVD off Ebay. I normally torrent and convert videos into the right format with AnyVideoConverter to watch off my external HDD on my blu ray player, which is connected to my TV. However, sometimes I prefer to watch it in better quality if I can't find a good quality torrent, so I buy it.
What movies do you consider contemplative and mystical, an3drew? Besides Melancholia, Jean de Florette / Manon of the Spring, and Andrei Tarkovsky's stuff, which we've discussed, I consider these films mystical, which I've mentioned a couple times before:
1. Cave of the Yellow Dog directed by Byambasuren Davaa 2. Au Hasard Balthazar directed by Robert Bresson 3. Ikiru directed by Akira Kurosawa 4. Color of Paradise directed by Majid Majidi 5. The Man Who Planted Trees drawn by Frederic Back. 6. Fanny and Alexander by Ingmar Bergman
I like poetry, but I prefer poetic films more. Poetic mystical films > poetry > literature > everything else
i was looking at some italian fims, luchino visconti (sandra, the stranger), valerio zurlini (girl with a suitcase) recently that i quite liked..
what amazes me with the net is you think you've seen it all . . then wham around the corner is something new of quality demanding to be investigated ! .! :o)
so one really has to juggle priorities . :o)
i really feel at this point i have back log of interesting material that would take at least three or four life times to c l e a r . .
the trouble is that film, art and literature is such a rich and rewarding world and g o e s o n f o r e v e r ! : o ()
I've been thinking about recursion a lot lately, and I've come this conclusion:
Mind is concurrent with matter, but it evolves into higher forms of complexity by increasing complexity of recursive processes. Chemical reactions where some of the molecules involved ended up producing more copies of themselves and creating cycles with external energy sources all have an elementary level of experience, given their recursion, but they can evolve into higher tiers of complexity, such as thalamocortical rhythms. Once the thalamocortical reentry and recursive neural activity becomes complex enough, then intentional states can render the experiential/sensory quality, intrinsic in phenomena, conscious. All phenomena have a base-level of experiential/sensory quality that can complexify.
However, all of life is experiential all the way down. Everything is mindful, or has a mind; but this does not necessarily entail that everything is “given” or “manifested” to a mind.
To experience the Mind that is the Universe requires deconstruction which is recursion:
'The very condition of a deconstruction may be at work in the work, within the system to be deconstructed. It may already be located there, already at work. Not at the center, but in an eccentric center, in a corner whose eccentricity assures the solid concentration of the system, participating in the construction of what it, at the same time, threatens to deconstruct. One might then be inclined to reach this conclusion: deconstruction is not an operation that supervenes afterwards, from the outside, one fine day. It is always already at work in the work. Since the destructive force of Deconstruction is always already contained within the very architecture of the work, all one would finally have to do to be able to deconstruct, given this always already, is to do memory work. Yet since I want neither to accept nor to reject a conclusion formulated in precisely these terms, let us leave this question suspended for the moment.' - Derrida
Here are the answers to the MC Escher link you gave:
1. Why do we find mathematics and geometric designs so satisfying to look at? 2. Can geometry point us towards a greater understanding of the connected nature of the universe? 3. What, if anything, do mathematical laws suggest about the nature of God, or the existence of God?
1. Because my heart dances with the whisking breeze. The zephyr washes over me with its song. This song is all, and the silence between the notes speak equally as loud. We can usher oblivion or usher peace.
2. In a reverie, I walked into a glade in the forest. A beautiful blinding light struck me with awe, that this is all. Playing the flute on the rock, all the birds perch on the branches to sing along.
3. God is in this hand, this hand is in god. This hand can either become Satan & destroy or it can become God in helping all. It isn't "about", but it is "of".
A beautiful review of Terrene Malick's Tree of Life:
"Terrence Malick both allures and terrifies throughout this stunning film. He portrays the riches of existence, the adamantine concretions of being, and creation’s eclipsing latencies and dissimulations within fractal-like dances of time, light, image, sound, and word. The gift of creation—of existence—is revealed as gloriously there, to be seen and embraced, while also impenetrable in its mysterious distance and frightening hiddenness. Creation groans, weaves, and rolls through Malick’s oceanic waves of emerging life. And the universe is seen as harking back to a forgotten time when the heavens were perceived not as mere mechanical movements but as a divine polyphony—a music of the spheres—despite all their melancholic strains and dissonances. Yet, like J. S. Bach’s great Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (which is played by the father, a musician, in the film), Malick’s vision of the universe has an origin of primordial peace and beauty. He composes a world in which the dissonances of creation are not final, but ultimately reconciled by the divine theme of grace."
"I never thought of Kubrick as a spiritual director the way Malick is. Malicks films have a haunted quality which remind me more of Tarkovsky. The Tree of Life reminds me in particular of 'Mirror' - both about childhood, memory, the magical and both feature the wind flowing through trees and a grasslands in a very beautiful way that infuses their subject with life."
since the question is itself conciousness, it is voynich and no wonder it gives rise to so much meaningless drabble ! :o)
the beauty of works like 'alice in wonderland" is they parse the recursion intrinsic in such a problem meaningfully
so that's what creative work is about, parsing meaningfully while the cretinous hogs which is most of humanity when it tries to think just wallow in excrement tainted mud !
what r u doing trying to "purify" the mud ! ?
one needs to switch from being a "consumer" to creator, have you ever thought of getting involved in film making?
"have you ever thought of getting involved in film making"
I would like to, but my father would not support me if I choose to go to art school. He'd prefer me doing something like programming or medical school (e.g., I am going back to college for programming). I wish he would support me in doing something like film, but I doubt that'll happen.
Maybe I should just stick to writing poetry on a blog? You can't do everything you want... sadly...
I mean, poetry is pretty good because all you need is a paper, pen, and solitude in natural scenery. Film requires far more material to get started and more skills. With poetry you just need to keep reading more to rev up the vocab and get an intuitive feel of stuff like assonance, alliteration, and consonance. It just becomes intuitive in solitude and if you read good stuff, I guess.
poetry has more scope than film, it seems such an old fashioned form, but going right back before sappho, it offers the widest view and most extreme /extremely effective expression ! :o)
you mean this zakaj ? thought it was ok and i agreed with you about "the tree of life" missing the mark, too indebted (read plagarizing) of tarkovsky and malik at 68 was too old, for one thing he need the sort of special effects that melancholia had ! :o)(
mostly miscast as well ! :o)
-----------------------------
zakaj's deleted post
I put these three movies in the same category; Tree of Life, Melancholia and Another Earth.
All three explore an inner, intimate deadlock and parallel it with something beyond human, cosmic.
In Another Earth you have the planet approaching, in Melancholia you have the comet, in Tree of Life the "creation" scenes.
The way I interpret Melancholia is that the first portion of the movie, the depressed lady seems completely fucking insane, and you as a spectator think ...; Jesus Christ girl, get your act together already, the world isn-t there to pamper you. You ungrateful spoiled braï½”!
But then as the end of the world approaches, the mere presence of the Object casts another light on all things. She is the one who suddenly appears normal, attuned to reality, in synchronicity with it, and everyone else appears cray cray especially the human, all too human husband who offs himself.
Similarly you perhaps look a bit insane to the world, with your spiritual quest, the world doesnt see the "Object" only the mystic can see - that blindness to Its presence allows them to be "normal", but that normalcy is really psychotic on some level.
I hope I dont offend you with what I will say next, since you said we are very compatible, and I agree we are, except I cannot forgive you Tree of Life! Of the three movies I mentioned, Tree of Life is the rotten apple. Its really inane, its "ersatz spiritual", in the worst possible way. Behold childhood! I dont know how to express something meaningful about it, so I will show some cosmic nebulae which surely is deep and profound, because space is deep and profound, innit. Malick is overrated, faux mystic fraud. Tarkovky wannabe! And even Tarkovsky is overrated (although Tarkovsky unlike Malick is good, but still overrated).
Another Earth is an interesting little movie with an actress that I adore, its much harder to interpret than the other two. Actually there is nothing to interpret in Tree of Life because its just bad.
I hope you will repent for liking Tree of Life. I cannot forgive you, perhaps God can. Or not even Him!
Im in Japan now, I was at the Buddhist temple yesterday, I have to say what people say about Japanese Buddhism is true. The whole thing is just a funeral business. I knew this before but I still thought this institution can be "used" in some way, to support contemplative types. But its actually not true, the institution is a machinery that works against genuine contemplation, in the direction of pure ritualism. I must admit that I am having some doubts about Buddhism in general. If the institutions today are such, how do I know that it wasnt always like this? And that it was the same kind of institutions that authored the Sutras? What if there is no "genuine" and never was, save a few isolated cases, and the whole thing has been a fake from the get go? In this spiritual confusion, I read the Zhuangzi. Its like a breath of fresh air. Isnt that a case of contemplation that is not yet trapped in institutionalism? I sit on the bed and watch the wall. I lie on the bed and observe the roof. I think of death with a kind of joy. I dont want it to happen now, but the thought that eventually I disappear, arouses a certain curiosity and an ecstatic feeling. How do we know that in hating death we are not extremely deluded? I certainly never contemplate suicide. It just seems pointless, why not let it all unfold instead? The spiritual quest is one of constant loss. Our identity, our religion, our knowledge and "spiritual attainments"... all goes away like yesterday-s dreams and then what is left? I sit, I look outside of the window and I dont know what or who am I. Isnt it all just a "dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago"?A
What goes into a poem I'm having trouble with this...
When you write it is it already formed fully such as you know which words to use and it all floats out effortlessly or is there some thinking involved where you decide which words to use?
waking from an afternoon nap lawn mower droning in the distance sunlight seeping through the window dust revealed floating
Like this I did some thinking about it, which words to use in some parts but I'm mainly just relaying what happened not trying to think of what to put but sometimes I have to think what to use.
mostly the poem is already there and you just have to write it down, but not always !
you have to play it by 'ear", the big problem is to write them down when they pop up, what you may have first dissed can be quite good when looked at later/ written down ! :o)
he's the head of the zen center closest to me. when i went there what i found strange is that every attendant went into dokusan with him. what he asked me in dokusan was "how does this stick have buddha nature?" and that was it. i didn't know how to respond so i just stayed silent.
Yeah I'll go back. I'm just bad at judging.. Can't tell the good from the bad yet. I didn't go back at first because I noticed how bad of health he was in, and after the morning session he was driven to McDonald's to get his weekly breakfast there. I'm just an idiot though and I don't understand anything. Feeling a little more coherent after starting to do shikantaza.
After the morning meditation I spoke to him for a little and I was acting like a smug asshole (thanks ewk) and he called me "genuine". Don't know if he meant it or was trying to push my buttons.
People have called me "warm" a bunch of times during my stay here on earth. At my brothers wedding a woman told me, "there's just always been something different about you (she's known me since before I can even remember here). You just have this warm thing about you." I just feel like an asshole because I've been so cold lately (thanks ewk again).
Last night I had a dream and the theme was around my mothers death. It's her birthday today. Saw my godfather in my dream who I love dearly and I wept so hard I fell to my knees. Been keeping back my feelings for real.
Read an article last night on a woman who dated Charles bukowski for a year. She said he had this extreme center about him, an energy, and as she was lying next to him she hovered her hand over his center and felt a warmth or as she also explained some sort of energy.
I've been acting like a real woman these last couple of years. I want to man up. This girl who I've had a sort of crush on since 4th grade called me "such a girl" one night when we were fighting. It's true I act like a little bitch I'm ashamed.
One of my bosses has trained MMA style fighting for 40 years. His hands are classified as deadly weapons, but he's never fought professionally because he's scared of brain damage. Might ask him to teach me how to fight.
there certainly is a gravity to charles bukowski, he does a cameo role in "barfly' and literally the whole scene moves around him, even though it is just a bit part !
all the new research is showing that even mild concussion causes brain damage and those in college and professional body contact sports teams are the walking dead, you have a very intelligent boss !
when i was younger i was so upset with my brothers friends i went into the utensil drawer and started throwing knives at all of them. they ran away pretty quick upstairs. i used to be a crazy nutcase.
ReplyDeletethought it was funny too, it was pretty funny..
DeleteGetting crucified a little bit too much:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo1IwmaUz90
sepehr, that's just intrusive junk
Deletethe world is full of bullshit, why give it airplay ?
you sorta make progress, then go backwards, you really don't accept you have yet to understand . .
i'm not here to p a s s t h e t i m e ! : o )
It was just a joke, sorry.
DeleteShould I read Alice in Wonderland or is watching BBC's 1966 Alice in Wonderland sufficient?
Deletesepehr, the video is full on and voynich, like you i am having some life issues with the time i spend on the internet and really that sort of thing takes a lot of attention only to need to be discarded !
Deletei think basically you are not putting enough time into things and sorting them out, too many opinions and time spent constructing some sort of "explanative" righting of the universe . .
a bit 'teflony" and skid over things . .
it's abit the pot callling the kettle black i am a f r a i d ! . . : o)
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI understand, but I'm wondering if I should read Alice in Wonderland, or if watching the BBC's 1966 of Alice in Wonderland is sufficient?
Deletesepehr, re the 1966 bbc alice in wonderland, why not watch a bit and give your opinion ?
Deletei watched the entire thing because i couldn't help myself ! :o)
http://mueller_ranges.tripod.com/links/book_list.html#1966 aiw
I'm buying the DVD off Ebay. I normally torrent and convert videos into the right format with AnyVideoConverter to watch off my external HDD on my blu ray player, which is connected to my TV. However, sometimes I prefer to watch it in better quality if I can't find a good quality torrent, so I buy it.
DeleteWhat movies do you consider contemplative and mystical, an3drew? Besides Melancholia, Jean de Florette / Manon of the Spring, and Andrei Tarkovsky's stuff, which we've discussed, I consider these films mystical, which I've mentioned a couple times before:
1. Cave of the Yellow Dog directed by Byambasuren Davaa
2. Au Hasard Balthazar directed by Robert Bresson
3. Ikiru directed by Akira Kurosawa
4. Color of Paradise directed by Majid Majidi
5. The Man Who Planted Trees drawn by Frederic Back.
6. Fanny and Alexander by Ingmar Bergman
I like poetry, but I prefer poetic films more. Poetic mystical films > poetry > literature > everything else
was going to ask you for a recommendation of films, thanks!
Deletei was looking at some italian fims, luchino visconti (sandra, the stranger), valerio zurlini (girl with a suitcase) recently that i quite liked..
Deletewhat amazes me with the net is you think you've seen it all . . then wham around the corner is something new of quality demanding to be investigated ! .! :o)
so one really has to juggle priorities . :o)
i really feel at this point i have back log of interesting material that would take at least three or four life times to c l e a r . .
the trouble is that film, art and literature is such a rich and rewarding world and g o e s o n f o r e v e r ! : o ()
which 3 views... are most correct an3drew?
Deletehttp://www.informationisbeautiful.net/play/what-is-consciousness/
I won't ever ask this question again
I've been thinking about recursion a lot lately, and I've come this conclusion:
DeleteMind is concurrent with matter, but it evolves into higher forms of complexity by increasing complexity of recursive processes. Chemical reactions where some of the molecules involved ended up producing more copies of themselves and creating cycles with external energy sources all have an elementary level of experience, given their recursion, but they can evolve into higher tiers of complexity, such as thalamocortical rhythms. Once the thalamocortical reentry and recursive neural activity becomes complex enough, then intentional states can render the experiential/sensory quality, intrinsic in phenomena, conscious. All phenomena have a base-level of experiential/sensory quality that can complexify.
It's all recursive:
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WvuJwMFPz4
When the complexity of recursion and reentry emerges in thalamocortical neural activity, then you can render the recursion of the universe conscious:
http://willcov.com/bio-consciousness/review/Reentry%20and%20Recursion.htm
However, all of life is experiential all the way down. Everything is mindful, or has a mind; but this does not necessarily entail that everything is “given” or “manifested” to a mind.
To experience the Mind that is the Universe requires deconstruction which is recursion:
'The very condition of a deconstruction may be at work in the work, within the system to be deconstructed. It may already be located there, already at work. Not at the center, but in an eccentric center, in a corner whose eccentricity assures the solid concentration of the system, participating in the construction of what it, at the same time, threatens to deconstruct. One might then be inclined to reach this conclusion: deconstruction is not an operation that supervenes afterwards, from the outside, one fine day. It is always already at work in the work. Since the destructive force of Deconstruction is always already contained within the very architecture of the work, all one would finally have to do to be able to deconstruct, given this always already, is to do memory work. Yet since I want neither to accept nor to reject a conclusion formulated in precisely these terms, let us leave this question suspended for the moment.' - Derrida
Here are the answers to the MC Escher link you gave:
Delete1. Why do we find mathematics and geometric designs so satisfying to look at?
2. Can geometry point us towards a greater understanding of the connected nature of the universe?
3. What, if anything, do mathematical laws suggest about the nature of God, or the existence of God?
1. Because my heart dances with the whisking breeze. The zephyr washes over me with its song. This song is all, and the silence between the notes speak equally as loud. We can usher oblivion or usher peace.
2. In a reverie, I walked into a glade in the forest. A beautiful blinding light struck me with awe, that this is all. Playing the flute on the rock, all the birds perch on the branches to sing along.
3. God is in this hand, this hand is in god. This hand can either become Satan & destroy or it can become God in helping all. It isn't "about", but it is "of".
A beautiful review of Terrene Malick's Tree of Life:
Delete"Terrence Malick both allures and terrifies throughout this stunning film. He portrays the riches of existence, the adamantine concretions of being, and creation’s eclipsing latencies and dissimulations within fractal-like dances of time, light, image, sound, and word. The gift of creation—of existence—is revealed as gloriously there, to be seen and embraced, while also impenetrable in its mysterious distance and frightening hiddenness. Creation groans, weaves, and rolls through Malick’s oceanic waves of emerging life. And the universe is seen as harking back to a forgotten time when the heavens were perceived not as mere mechanical movements but as a divine polyphony—a music of the spheres—despite all their melancholic strains and dissonances. Yet, like J. S. Bach’s great Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (which is played by the father, a musician, in the film), Malick’s vision of the universe has an origin of primordial peace and beauty. He composes a world in which the dissonances of creation are not final, but ultimately reconciled by the divine theme of grace."
http://theotherjournal.com/2011/08/04/the-tree-of-life-a-son-of-tears/
here's the recursive clip again from Tree of Life:
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WvuJwMFPz4
"I never thought of Kubrick as a spiritual director the way Malick is. Malicks films have a haunted quality which remind me more of Tarkovsky. The Tree of Life reminds me in particular of 'Mirror' - both about childhood, memory, the magical and both feature the wind flowing through trees and a grasslands in a very beautiful way that infuses their subject with life."
Deletesepehr, you write
Deletewhich 3 views... are most correct an3drew?
http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/play/what-is-consciousness/
I won't ever ask this question again
my reply
since the question is itself conciousness, it is voynich and no wonder it gives rise to so much meaningless drabble ! :o)
the beauty of works like 'alice in wonderland" is they parse the recursion intrinsic in such a problem meaningfully
so that's what creative work is about, parsing meaningfully while the cretinous hogs which is most of humanity when it tries to think just wallow in excrement tainted mud !
what r u doing trying to "purify" the mud ! ?
one needs to switch from being a "consumer" to creator, have you ever thought of getting involved in film making?
"have you ever thought of getting involved in film making"
DeleteI would like to, but my father would not support me if I choose to go to art school. He'd prefer me doing something like programming or medical school (e.g., I am going back to college for programming). I wish he would support me in doing something like film, but I doubt that'll happen.
Maybe I should just stick to writing poetry on a blog? You can't do everything you want... sadly...
I mean, poetry is pretty good because all you need is a paper, pen, and solitude in natural scenery. Film requires far more material to get started and more skills. With poetry you just need to keep reading more to rev up the vocab and get an intuitive feel of stuff like assonance, alliteration, and consonance. It just becomes intuitive in solitude and if you read good stuff, I guess.
Deletepoetry has more scope than film, it seems such an old fashioned form, but going right back before sappho, it offers the widest view and most extreme /extremely effective expression ! :o)
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteSorry for the deletes above, it was just garbage.
Deleteyou mean this zakaj ? thought it was ok and i agreed with you about "the tree of life" missing the mark, too indebted (read plagarizing) of tarkovsky and malik at 68 was too old, for one thing he need the sort of special effects that melancholia had ! :o)(
Deletemostly miscast as well ! :o)
-----------------------------
zakaj's deleted post
I put these three movies in the same category; Tree of Life, Melancholia and Another Earth.
All three explore an inner, intimate deadlock and parallel it with something beyond human, cosmic.
In Another Earth you have the planet approaching, in Melancholia you have the comet, in Tree of Life the "creation" scenes.
The way I interpret Melancholia is that the first portion of the movie, the depressed lady seems completely fucking insane, and you as a spectator think ...; Jesus Christ girl, get your act together already, the world isn-t there to pamper you. You ungrateful spoiled braï½”!
But then as the end of the world approaches, the mere presence of the Object casts another light on all things. She is the one who suddenly appears normal, attuned to reality, in synchronicity with it, and everyone else appears cray cray especially the human, all too human husband who offs himself.
Similarly you perhaps look a bit insane to the world, with your spiritual quest, the world doesnt see the "Object" only the mystic can see - that blindness to Its presence allows them to be "normal", but that normalcy is really psychotic on some level.
I hope I dont offend you with what I will say next, since you said we are very compatible, and I agree we are, except I cannot forgive you Tree of Life! Of the three movies I mentioned, Tree of Life is the rotten apple. Its really inane, its "ersatz spiritual", in the worst possible way. Behold childhood! I dont know how to express something meaningful about it, so I will show some cosmic nebulae which surely is deep and profound, because space is deep and profound, innit. Malick is overrated, faux mystic fraud. Tarkovky wannabe! And even Tarkovsky is overrated (although Tarkovsky unlike Malick is good, but still overrated).
Another Earth is an interesting little movie with an actress that I adore, its much harder to interpret than the other two. Actually there is nothing to interpret in Tree of Life because its just bad.
I hope you will repent for liking Tree of Life. I cannot forgive you, perhaps God can. Or not even Him!
Im in Japan now, I was at the Buddhist temple yesterday, I have to say what people say about Japanese Buddhism is true. The whole thing is just a funeral business. I knew this before but I still thought this institution can be "used" in some way, to support contemplative types. But its actually not true, the institution is a machinery that works against genuine contemplation, in the direction of pure ritualism. I must admit that I am having some doubts about Buddhism in general. If the institutions today are such, how do I know that it wasnt always like this? And that it was the same kind of institutions that authored the Sutras? What if there is no "genuine" and never was, save a few isolated cases, and the whole thing has been a fake from the get go? In this spiritual confusion, I read the Zhuangzi. Its like a breath of fresh air. Isnt that a case of contemplation that is not yet trapped in institutionalism? I sit on the bed and watch the wall. I lie on the bed and observe the roof. I think of death with a kind of joy. I dont want it to happen now, but the thought that eventually I disappear, arouses a certain curiosity and an ecstatic feeling. How do we know that in hating death we are not extremely deluded? I certainly never contemplate suicide. It just seems pointless, why not let it all unfold instead? The spiritual quest is one of constant loss. Our identity, our religion, our knowledge and "spiritual attainments"... all goes away like yesterday-s dreams and then what is left? I sit, I look outside of the window and I dont know what or who am I. Isnt it all just a "dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago"?A
ReplyDeletethoughtful post thanx zakaj . . bit of excitement travelling ! :o)
DeleteWhat goes into a poem I'm having trouble with this...
ReplyDeleteWhen you write it is it already formed fully such as you know which words to use and it all floats out effortlessly or is there some thinking involved where you decide which words to use?
waking from an afternoon nap lawn mower droning in the distance sunlight seeping through the window dust revealed floating
Like this I did some thinking about it, which words to use in some parts but I'm mainly just relaying what happened not trying to think of what to put but sometimes I have to think what to use.
Deletethat sunlight dust lawnmower poem is good !
mostly the poem is already there and you just have to write it down, but not always !
you have to play it by 'ear", the big problem is to write them down when they pop up, what you may have first dissed can be quite good when looked at later/ written down ! :o)
andrew what do you think of this guy?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9gu14UFS_w
he's the head of the zen center closest to me. when i went there what i found strange is that every attendant went into dokusan with him. what he asked me in dokusan was "how does this stick have buddha nature?" and that was it. i didn't know how to respond so i just stayed silent.
he carries around this old stick.
Deleteupdated reply
Deletehttp://mueller_ranges.tripod.com/andrew/pending_poems131.html#roshi rich hart
Yeah I'll go back. I'm just bad at judging.. Can't tell the good from the bad yet. I didn't go back at first because I noticed how bad of health he was in, and after the morning session he was driven to McDonald's to get his weekly breakfast there. I'm just an idiot though and I don't understand anything. Feeling a little more coherent after starting to do shikantaza.
DeleteAfter the morning meditation I spoke to him for a little and I was acting like a smug asshole (thanks ewk) and he called me "genuine". Don't know if he meant it or was trying to push my buttons.
People have called me "warm" a bunch of times during my stay here on earth. At my brothers wedding a woman told me, "there's just always been something different about you (she's known me since before I can even remember here). You just have this warm thing about you." I just feel like an asshole because I've been so cold lately (thanks ewk again).
Last night I had a dream and the theme was around my mothers death. It's her birthday today. Saw my godfather in my dream who I love dearly and I wept so hard I fell to my knees. Been keeping back my feelings for real.
Read an article last night on a woman who dated Charles bukowski for a year. She said he had this extreme center about him, an energy, and as she was lying next to him she hovered her hand over his center and felt a warmth or as she also explained some sort of energy.
DeleteI've been acting like a real woman these last couple of years. I want to man up. This girl who I've had a sort of crush on since 4th grade called me "such a girl" one night when we were fighting. It's true I act like a little bitch I'm ashamed.
One of my bosses has trained MMA style fighting for 40 years. His hands are classified as deadly weapons, but he's never fought professionally because he's scared of brain damage. Might ask him to teach me how to fight.
Deletejason, women think acting like a woman is the preferred way of being and they have a contempt for men as childish !
ReplyDeleteyou may not have been wrong to avoid rich hart, i suspect with all his illness that he would be a viral shedder !
http://mueller_ranges.tripod.com/links/compendium/viral_shedders.html
there certainly is a gravity to charles bukowski, he does a cameo role in "barfly' and literally the whole scene moves around him, even though it is just a bit part !
all the new research is showing that even mild concussion causes brain damage and those in college and professional body contact sports teams are the walking dead, you have a very intelligent boss !